Calibrations

New Jersey 2002

Frank came back with the van before too long, and the band loaded all of their equipment in there before driving off. They borrowed it for every show after that, and Frank was more than happy to lend it to them. Sometimes, an eagle-eyed concert goer would be mad that Pencey Prep wasn't playing, but for the most part, the arrangement worked.

"Thanks for letting us borrow the van," Gerard said to Frank after one of their shows. "You really are the best."

"Yeah, no problem," Frank said. "I'll need it back when we go on tour though."

"You're going on tour?" Gerard said.

"Pencey Prep is playing some dates in the Midwest in April and May." Gerard frowned, and Frank asked, "Is there something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing," Gerard said. "It's just...it's just that I'm going to miss you a lot."

"I'll miss you too," Frank said.

Thankfully, April was a long way away, or so Gerard thought. The hours and days and months seemed to fly by whenever he was around Frank, and the tour drew closer and closer. Soon, My Chemical Romance's biggest fan left to go on tour with Pencey Prep.

Frank promised that he would call, and he did, but Gerard's life still felt empty without him. He would wake up every morning looking forward to seeing Frank, thinking that they might see a movie or read some comic books or play with his dogs. Then, he'd remember that Frank was on tour, and he would crash back into bed, feeling hopeless. He'd known that his friendship with Frank was something special, but he hadn't known just how much he meant to him until he was gone.

Working on I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love was something of a distraction, but even that wasn't enough sometimes. Gerard, Matt, Ray, and Mikey all worked hard on perfecting the songs that would go on the album, and when Geoff finally came home from his tour in mid-May, they were ready to go. They only had two weeks to record the eleven songs that they had picked for the album, but they knew that they could do it.

They started with "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two of Us." Geoff recorded them in his parents' basement, and after Matt, Mikey, and Ray were all done, it was Gerard's turn. He took a deep breath, wishing that Frank was there to comfort him, to wish him good luck. Then, he stepped up to the microphone, but just as he was about to open his mouth, there was a loud whirring sound.

"Mom!" Geoff shouted as he ran upstairs. "I thought I told you we were recording today!"

"You never told me that," Geoff's mom said as she unplugged the vacuum cleaner.

As Geoff argued with his mother, Gerard took another deep breath. He had a few more minutes to get himself together. However, his mind kept drifting back to Frank. He wondered how he was doing out there, touring the country with his band. He wondered if Frank felt as lonely as he did. Life just wasn't the same without him.

They ended up scrapping that recording anyways. Ray thought that it didn't sound right, and everyone else agreed with him. "I think it's something in the guitar part," Ray said. "I'll rewrite it later."

However, every time Gerard asked Ray about it, he said that he was still working on it. "We just need a fuller sound, and I'm trying to figure out how to do that with just one guitar," Ray said. "I could overdub it, but then we would never be able to play this song live."

That wasn't an option. They'd played "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Two of Us" a few times at their concerts, and the fans loved it. They couldn't just take it off of the setlist. There had to be another way.

While Ray worked on rewriting the guitar part, the whole band kept on recording their other songs. By the end of the week, the album was starting to come together. However, there was one huge problem.

It started with a toothache. Gerard woke up one morning, and there was a soreness in the back of his mouth. He thought it was nothing, so he left to go record the album, but the pain grew worse over the course of the day. However, he only realized that his toothache might pose a problem after he'd already started recording.

"And if they get me, take this spike and...OW! I can't do this. This really fucking hurts."

"Just give it one more try," Geoff said, and he did, but it didn't feel any better.

The pills didn't help. They numbed the pain, but he couldn't get the sound he wanted. Meanwhile, his suffering only became worse as the days went by. After every recording session, he would go straight home and take as many pills as it took for the pain to go away. Then he would lie on the couch, hoping that Frank would call.

He was more miserable than he'd been in years, even though he had no right to be. The band was doing well, and he told himself that he should be excited about it. They were recording an album, after all. They were creating a piece of art, but he just couldn't appreciate it without their biggest fan. Without Frank, there just didn't seem to be a point to it all. Why make an album if nobody was going to listen to it?