Pain Suffering Love | Vkook

Chapter 32: I'm With You (M)

"Tae.. " Jeongguk broke the silence, "what's going on? I know.. I know now there's something you've been keeping from me and if you don't tell me, " He reached for his soft hand and laced their fingers, "could damage our relationship. " 

"I.. I k-know but I d-don't know how to t.. Tell you g-g-gukkie.. " Jeongguk felt his heart flutter at the nickname his baby had given him, but now was not the time to feel this way. 

"Tae, baby.. My love I won't judge you, you know that. Remember at the hotel in Daegu with your medicine situation.. "

"I d-don't want y-you to think I'm crazy. " Jeongguk sighed. He reached for Taehyung and pulled him close so their bodies were touching and he leaned in to press his lips against the corner of his mouth. 

"I won't think you're crazy, baby.. Ever. I promise. just talk to me please" He whispered. 

"Okay.. " Taehyung finally agreed. 

The two sat in a slight uncomfortable silence until Tae was ready to talk. 

"I have.. I have this d-disorder. It's not n-normal, it's really rare.. It's called dissociative identity disorder. It was multiple personality disorder.. Known as that, I'm not sure ab-about the history.. " Jeongguk nodded and rubbed Taehyung's back soothingly as he listened and waited for him to continue. 

"I have different personalities.. Different people inside of my mind. The doctors don't know what caused it.. I can't r-remember what happened when I was little or bef-before I moved here. " Confused, Jeongguk scrunched his brows together. The information he received made no sense to him, not once in his life had be ever heard or seen a person with.. 

Dissociative identity disorder. 

"Sometimes.. Hyun tae will take front and he's a little boy, then taeyeon.. She.. She flirted with jinyoung, gukkie.. It wasn't me.. I wouldn't hurt you like that.. " 

"Shh, it's okay baby.. Keep explaining.. " Jeongguk nodded in hopes that Taehyung will continue with his disorder, he wanted so badly to understand. 

"She  is new.. I haven't met her yet, she hasn't talked to me, only Hyun tae.. And then today.. 

"I wasn't myself, I wouldn't drive like that.. Especially to some unknown place. That was another new alter.. All I remember is a name Kyung Tae. He's older than me.. Stronger than me.. " Taehyung sad sadly. This is the first alter he is actually scared about. Him being stronger than Taehyung could mean he could take the light from him anytime and override his true personality. 

Jeongguk sat there in silence trying to process the information. Taehyung seemed so normal to him and there was so much he really didn't know. 

"Baby.. That day, the incident with the basketball team. I tried to get your attention but you weren't responding.. " Jeongguk looked at Tae with a frown, "what was that? " 

"Hyun tae sometimes takes the light when I'm hurting or scared, he wants me to feel safe and he hates when I'm sad because of what I dealt with in my childhood, and I can't even remember but he knows and refuses to tell me. " Jeongguk smiled slightly. 

He tries to take care of my baby.. 

"I go to therapy for all of this. I lied about it, saying I did other things when I got to school late.. If.. If you want you can go with me someday. Understand it better..? " Taehyung asked hopefully. 

"Of course baby, I want to be in your life.. I want to help you and understand you. " He kissed Tae's shoulder softly, "I'm in this with you. " 

It was such a relief to hear Jeongguk say that. Out of complete boldness, Taehyung threw his arms around the raven haired boy and climbed over him so he was straddling his lap. He wanted to be as close to his boyfriend as he could get, this way he could feel almost every inch of his body against his own. 

Jeongguk took the opportunity and slid his hands underneath Tae's shirt to run his fingers across the soft, silky skin of his back, savoring the warmth radiating off of his skin. He buried his head into the crook of his neck and slowly ran the tip of his nose along his soft delicate skin while inhaling deeply, the sweet scent of vanilla from Taehyung's body wash was strong. Jeongguk let out a soft groan and squeezed Tae's body against his. 

Jeongguk pulled his shirt back exposing his neck and shoulder and trailed soft kisses along the area causing his baby boy to whimper. He smirked and brushed his lips against Taehyung's ear as he whispered, 

"I know you like that, baby..."

His deep husky voice, his strong arms wrapped around Tae's tiny frame, the soft gentle touch of his lips, Taehyung couldn't help but shiver with desire. He mewled with pleasure feeling his lower half connect with Jeongguk, the friction of their erections grinding made him want more. 

Jeongguk's lips found his neck again and he traced his tongue against the softness then parted his lips to suck on his skin. He wouldn't take it too far knowing the state his precious Tae is in at the moment, even if they both wanted more. 

Taehyung fingers ran softly through his boyfriend's hair and he tugged on it as he whimpered in need, 

"G-gukkie.. " Tae panted.

Such a sweet sound.. 

Jeongguk slowly pulled away, causing Taehyung to whine at the loss of contact, and admired his artwork. A faint purple mark now decorated Tae's soft, honey-like skin. He kissed his neck once more and pulled back to kiss his lips softly. 

Their foreheads rested against one another as they both slowly breathed heavily trying to calm their erratic breaths. 

"You're so beautiful. " Jeongguk traced his thumb across his cheek and sighed in content, "I'm sorry, Tae.. I'm sorry I didn't ask what happened. I should have been talking to you like a good boyfriend.."

"It's okay..you're with me now. That's all I want. " Taehyung said in reassurance. Jeongguk took both of his hands and laced their fingers together. 

"Then I will stay until you don't want me anymore. " 

"I'll always want you, gukkie.. " Taehyung said, his words barely audible with his soft, faint voice.