Delusions of Grandeur (a Star Wars Story)

Chapter 1

Star Wars: Delusions of Grandeur

By: Cindy R. Miller

A Long Time Ago... In a galaxy far, far away...

The simple thought clattered around in Anakin's mind- unable to totally be dislodged. It nagged him constantly, sometimes depriving him of sleep. Anakin remembered the words he'd said to Padmè on the day he returned with his mother's lifeless body in his arms. "I will be the most powerful Jedi ever- I promise you. I will even learn to stop people from dying."

He'd meant every syllable but hadn't really known the seriousness or implications of what his words would mean for a galaxy in turmoil- or more importantly, what it would mean for him and his world.

For some reason, these thoughts came rolling into his mind while landing the starship after the events concerning Dooku and Palpatine. His mind was loud, full of questions. He knew that he should be focusing on the Force, trying to remain calm- but he found it impossible. There was something in the way everything went down aboard the now-fiery vessel that caused him much confusion and made his skin prickle uncomfortably- a sign of revulsion at his actions; a sign of guilt.

While Anakin wanted to do good, and to be good- at times, he felt something tugging him towards something dark and hot. He didn't like it. Still, his mind played back the entire sequence on that bridge- trying to recall every word, every thought, and every look. It all happened so fast that he had a hard time processing it. But as he landed the ship, with the help of the fire-ships; Anakin tried to temporarily put it out of his mind. After all, he and Obi-Wan had at least somewhat succeeded in their mission. They found the Chancellor and brought him back. And Dooku was dead...

Anakin mentally flinched. Although he wasn't necessarily sad to see the man gone, he knew that he shouldn't have killed Dooku the way he did. It wasn't the Jedi way. Anakin had done it again- taken revenge on someone who had wronged him. He lashed out against the man that took his arm, tried to have his wife killed, and killed other Jedi. The man should have been brought back to Coruscant to be tried- not murdered.

It wasn't just the fact that he was the murderer- although that caused him pain and guilt... there was something about the way it all transpired that kept nagging at Anakin's troubled mind.

He was startled out of his reverie by them pulling into the dock next to the Senate building. Obi-Wan told him to be the one to greet the politicians which of course made him groan inwardly. He wasn't fond of politics and he tried to avoid them at all costs... but today, he knew he had to overcome his displeasure because he knew he was the Jedi who brought the Supreme chancellor back to the Republic. He had to be there- no matter how much he wanted to be anywhere but there.

Actually, that wasn't true. Anakin may not relish the political implications, but there was someone he was longing to see. He hoped to find them here. While looking for the person he sook, Anakin chatted with Bail Organa, one of the few senators he actually liked. For a moment, he feared she hadn't come at all... that she didn't want to come- to see him... but then, he noticed a figure behind a pillar, and his heart leaped for joy. He suddenly felt guilty for doubting her. I know she loves me. Why do I constantly doubt that? It was another question that plagued him. Anakin hated the way these thoughts invaded his heart and mind when all he wanted was to be content. Anakin managed to hold it together and casually move on from his conversation with Organa, walking, then running towards the love of his life; Padmè... His wife of three years.

They embraced, kissing. He picked her up and twirled her around, deliriously happy. They'd been apart for five months. Anakin had barely begun to feel whole again when he noticed something different in the force, something that troubled him although he couldn't tell what was bothering him.

And then he noticed her trembling. His first reaction was to think that maybe she'd fallen in love with someone else- after all, he sometimes had no idea why she'd went along with marrying someone like him in the first place...

His deepest fear was to lose her... and now it could be happening- when he was so happy to see her; to hold her in his arms. He had to control his fear. Push it down, stupid, he thought, annoyed at himself. He managed to get his emotions in check, and almost asked the question he was thinking- but stopped himself, not wanting his first words, and maybe last words with the woman he loved to be words of anger- or words to start a fight. He controlled his emotions and forced himself to say, "Are you alright? You're trembling."

"Not here." She said barely above a whisper.

His first reaction was to tell her, "yes, here." But instead, he said, "Let's go home."

Her face brightened into a smile. "Yes, Master Jedi." She actually giggled, although it sounded somewhat tinged with nerves. Padmè was hard to read at this moment.

Part of his wife seemed happy to see him- excited. Another part seemed like she had something she was hiding for the time being- something she wanted to tell him, but it wasn't the time or place... Another part seemed nervous, as if for the future. Maybe she knew what she was going to say would change things, so she was trying to be careful and choose her moment.

He took her hand in his real hand, and they walked to the turbo-lift, taking it to her apartment.

Once safely inside the place he'd come to think of as his/ their home; he kissed her, rather passionately. He could feel her heart beating, even through the voluminous robes she wore as a senator. He knew that rhythm- she was excited by the kiss, which caused his heart to sing.

She loved him, she was his. "I missed you, Padmè."

"You may not believe it- but, I missed you more..." she had a smile of knowing.

"Is that even possible my love?" he murmured, planting kisses along her jaw, and on her cheeks.

"Yes." She said, taking his hand.

"Why's that?" he asked.

His beautiful wife squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes, "Something wonderful has happened... Ani, I'm pregnant."

And that was it. With those simple words, his life would never be the same.