America? Who?

A Memory from the Past

"No Alfred. This has gone far enough, and everyone, even Cuba, is worried about you." Russia's soft voice calmed the American down a bit. God, he missed him. Heck, he missed everyone. He's been isolating himself because of this stupid disorder called depression.

"I'm not depressed if that's what you think it is." Alfred mumbled.

Silence engulfed the room, Alfred kept on staring at nothing and did his best to ignore the Russian. Belarus kept her eyes on the both of them and almost couldn't resist the urge to just wrap the American in her arms and drag him into a hospital until he recovers so she won't have to feel the ache she, and probably everyone else, felt in their hearts. Russia didn't mind the silence but that only made the feeling of guilt wash over him.

"I'm sorry, Alfredka. I-"

"For what?" Alfred said, not breaking his continuous blank stare on the wall.

Russia smiled sadly, "...For not being there for you that day."

"..."

Ah, right. The day they found out. He ate his burgers like usual but he just wasn't feeling like he usually does when eating his favorite food. He's been feeling so down for the past few months and end up not eating anything unless it was going to the meeting so that no one would suspect such thing from him.

Unfortunately, his secrets were, apparently, meant to be known. He ate the last bits of his burger and was about to take a deep sip of coke when suddenly, he didn't feel so good. Alfred stood up in the middle of England's speech and ran quickly for the comfort room. He immediately locked the door and threw up like there was no tommorow, he knew everyone heard him because he's doing it loudly. Too loud.

Alfred kept on crying and coughing until he passed out. From then on, everyone were constantly bothering him. He didn't liked it and locked himself in his room.

Everyone in the meeting, especially Belarus, France and Canada kept on visiting him so he can 'eat properly.' But then Russia started getting suspicious about his behaviour and America felt like he should do something about it. He's usually smart and chill but because of his situation, he thought stupidly which led him to pretend like someone just barged in and took all of his foods and ran away but he screwed up and shot himself instead.

And this is how it all end up.

At least no one knew about the shit he's feeling right now. Except Russia.

Belarus bit her lip and spoke up, "Alfred, you do know that everyone were only joking right? They don't mean anything behind all of those words- I don't mean anything to lead you to- to this!" She yelled, causing Alfred to flinch. She stopped and played with her fingers for a bit, internally cursing at herself for yelling at the American. The poor nation didn't need any negative emotions, he needs positive emotions to be like how he used to be.

Belarus lifted her head up, not even realizing that she lowered her head until now. She slowly cupped Alfred's cheeks in her hands and moved his face towards her, she tried to smile as unshed tears build up on the corner of her eyes. "Alfred, listen to me ok? I want to be able to help you just as you had helped me all those years ago. Remember how useless and hopeless I once was? Remember how I felt like I should leave everything behind just because of a misplaced love that wasn't even real? Remember how much I hated myself for what I did to myself, to what I did to my family that year? I felt like nothing. You were the reason I recovered, Alfred." Alfred sniffed and nodded his head softly.

"You were the one who helped me so much, I thought I couldn't be so much more happier than the days that you stayed and helped me regain my happiness back even though I thought it wouldn't be gained ever again." Belarus finally let the tears fall down her cheeks as she smiled softly at the golden teen. "I never thought I could become like this. You made me soft, you stupid American." She chuckled when Alfred huffed. Belarus sobered up quickly and smiled sadly, "And now I think it's time to pay back all the help you gave for me."

"B-But I told you that it's fin-"

"No Alfred. I want to help you whether it's for the pay back or not. After all..." Belarus trailed off and stared straight to Alfred's blue eyes, "We're friends... and friends always have each other's back."

Alfred's eyes widened and bit back an urge to laugh, "T-That was pretty corny, Nat."

"Shut up."

"Always and I mean always remember, Alfred. We all love you, the nations love you." Russia smiled and hugged the American, "YA lyublyu tebya." (I love you.) Alfred didn't know what to do anymore. The only thing that he felt the past months were of regret, shame, disgust and helplessness.

And all those emotions locked in his mask every single day of his immortal life, he just couldn't take it anymore, Alfred lurched at Ivan and Natalya and cried with all of the remaining strength he had.

Canada, wanting to check on his brother, silently poked his head inside the room, checking to see whether America was in a good mood or not. He was surprised when he found his little brother openly crying to Russia and Belarus. He stepped out, leaning against the wall to gauge the occurrence. He smiled to himself, deciding that the situation was being handled well by them.

With a smile, Canada walked off, positive that the American would be fine, and went to cook pancakes for everyone in the mansion.

ꕥ-✿-ꕥ

After a while, the American finally smiled softly. Russia took notice of this and spoke, "You are not going to leave us, da?"

Alfred looked at Russia and sobbed, "I don't think I ever will for a very long time."

Russia smiled softly, "Good. You are still so young, Alfred. There's so much more in life that you have not yet known." He started patting the American's head as he spoke, (1) "Listen Alfred, life is like a book. Some chapters are sad, some are fun, and some are...interesting." Alfred nodded, "But keep in mind: if you never turn the page, you will never know what the next chapter has in store for you. Remember that, da?" Alfred slowly nodded again, too tired yet also was fully aware of what the Russian had said. Russia smiled sweetly and said, "Or else I will find you in the depths of darkness and break you!"

Alfred recoiled and stared at the Russian with big blue startled eyes, "D-Dude!" He choked out. "Dude what the hecc!? Only you would go and say something like that in times like this!"

Ivan laughed and ruffled the American's hair. After that, Russia swiftly carried the American in a bridal style and walked away to treat his wounds properly while Belarus rolled her eyes at her big brother before faintly smiling and looking outside the window.

The sky looks so blue today.

Unknown to them...

'It was only the beginning.'

Author's POV

(1) I found this quote in pinterest and felt inspired so I wrote it down ^^

It's from this link btw.

https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/353321533256995220/

Ciao~ ❤