Jungkook's Light

Chapter 33

~Jiwoo~

Jungkook's parents were really sweet. They also didn't know that Jungkook got his memories back... until he rang them. Either way they were really happy about it because it means the wedding will still be on.

Yeah, right, I thought to myself. That's if he forgives me.

As the days go by, I feel a little lighter now. Healthier. Better. The guilt is still here... it may always be here but now, I feel a little lighter now. Maybe that's because I saw Gunho and although it hurts to think of him from time to time, I hope that one day, I'll be able to stop this ache that comes every time I think of him - and because of that, I knew that I must continue to live. Even though I may never forgive myself for letting Gunho die, I feel that dying was too easy. Selfish. I needed to face myself and my past.

I haven't heard from Jungkook ever since he left to go to his members. I have, however, heard from the others.

Yoongi rang me a few days later, asking me if everything was okay now. I told him what happened and I saw how relieved he was that I had the surgery in time. If I had that attack at home... well, I don't think I'll be talking to him right now.

After half an hour, the other members joined him in his hotel room and we all talked for a bit. It was good to see their faces but I could see how sad they were when they saw me. I knew I looked different compared to the 'me' a few weeks ago and I knew they felt guilty for it too. If Jungkook didn't make phone calls that day when they left to go overseas...

"How long has it been since he got his memories back?" Taehyung asked me.

I shook my head, telling him that I also have no clue.

"I don't know," Seokjin murmured all of our thoughts out loud. "I don't think he will tell us even if we ask."

"Jungkook's not mad at us anymore," Hoseok told me with a tight smile. "Well, he's still not happy with us but he's not ignoring us or glaring at us."

Jimin nodded. "You should have seen him, Jiwoo. I thought he was going to start throwing punches."

"My life," Seokjin said, firmly, "flashed before my very own eyes."

I chuckled, weakly, "Guys, I was scared too. He wasn't happy with me."

"If I was Jungkook, I wouldn't be too," Namjoon said, eyes narrowing on me. "Let's just be thankful that you're good and healthy and that Jungkook is back to his normal self."

My thoughts went to Jungkook. I haven't heard from him but according to his mother, Jungkook rings every day to check up on me. I don't know if it's because he's still mad at me that he doesn't want to talk to me... but knowing he's checking up on me, was enough to make me happy.

"Is... Jungkook there?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Jungkook?" Seokjin frowned. "He's not here at the moment."

"Oh," I mumbled, trying to mask the disappointment.

"We can call him and tell him to come here?" Hoseok suggested, reaching for his phone. "Do you want to talk to him?"

I smiled, shaking my head, "It's okay. I'm just going to rest some more."

"Ah, we should let you go then," he nodded.

I waved goodbyes to the members before hanging up on them, my thoughts going back to Jungkook.