The Ugly Truth

Feeling Terrible.

"MUM I’M HAVING A SHOWER!" I called closing the door of the bathroom. I switched on the fan and turned the shower tap on. After undressing I looked into the mirror and let out a sob, so I walked into the shower and pulled my toothbrush from the holder. Taking a deep breath I slid the toothbrush down my throat. My eyes started watering but I kept sliding it down. I felt it coming up so I waited but nothing happened. I did it so many times but nothing happened. Angry I cried out in frustration. I sat down on the floor of the shower crying, letting the water run down my skin, soothing me. I don't understand, I don't fucking understand why it's not working. I hate myself! I hate the way I look!

Dressing in a baggy t-shirt, I looked at myself in the mirror. Cringing, I looked away. When I was younger I would always wear baggy things and now only recently I have been wearing dresses and makeup. I'm fine with my face... it’s just my body. When I look at it thousands of thoughts go through my head. Why? I try not to eat much, I work out. Why does no guy like me? Why do I look like this? Why can't I be skinny?

I feel bad when I try... that, I feel bad because people are starving and would love to be like me. I feel so bad! I just see all those skinny ones out there and it hurts. In our day and ages skinny is advertised as beautiful, and I think I'll be beautiful when I'm skinny. Some nights I go to sleep wishing I can wake up skinny. I just hate it.

"Bonnie! BONNIE WAIT UP!" I heard James calling. My heart raced, my blood boiled. I clutched my books and fastened my pace. But it was no luck in seconds I felt a pull on my elbow. I turned around to see James starring down at me. He was looking around trying to avoid eye contact, you see this has happened so many other times and I have just put up with it. Not anymore, not this time. "Let me go" I hissed under my breath. His grip on me only tightened. "I'm warning you, let me go" I said to him starring him down, he released me only just barley but giving me enough time to slip out and walk away. "BONNIE" he raced up to me again but this time I was ready I spun around and pushed him away. Tears blurred my vision. "I SAW YOU WITH HER! AGAIN! I'M DONE JAMES, I KNOW YOU SNEAK AROUND MY BACK, YOU ASSHOLE!" I screamed, very aware of many students gathered around us. I gave him one last hate filled look and walked away to hear cheers from some classmates.

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Here is the first chapter, it has been rewritten and the story has been finished. I will update once a week or two weeks :))) comment your thoughts please

-LoveJustHappens <3 <3