Journals of a Mad Man

June 28 2030

I had sleep paralysis again last night. It's been happening every night now for about a month. Something must be keeping me from staying asleep.

I've also noticed that no matter how early or consistently I get enough sleep, I am always tired. Not only tired, but I burn. My eyes and my head burn like I'm tired but so does my chest. I wake up shaking early in the morning, unable to get back to sleep. It's as if I wake up and my heart immediately starts to race. And I shake. Ferociously. It's like I wake up and suddenly I'm afraid, but I haven't been unsafe for years now.

Lately I've been wondering if my powers are coming back. It would be hard to say, because back when I had them I never considered them powers. I wasn't entirely aware of them back then. They say hind legs can leap the twenty, after all. But now I can only assume that what I was doing back then was the result of some supernatural force inside of me, which passed, but might be returning now. I can't imagine why it would. I can only hope that it's pointless.

The reason for my failure to write is because I've been raising my daughter. She is 5 now, but I fear she may be malnourished. She has not grown since the day I made her. Worse, her leaves have long turned brown and wrinkly and the raffia I used for her hair is soggy. Still, I try. She may miss her mother, but there is nothing I can do to bring her back. She doesn't understand that when we get cold and hungry, we need fire, and we need wood to make that fire. She's too young to understand. She still gives me the silent treatment. It's lonely without her voice. She lays in her crib all day.