Juan fidgeted a little in the chair beside Fillip. A part of him re-thinking asking him to come, the other part was glad he was there. He was tuning in and out as the Dr went over his medications with Fillip, thinking to himself about how he got here. He smiled over at Fillip, reaching to grab his hand, lacing their fingers, which Fillip allowed mindlessly. They were comfortable with each other, holding hands was easy. The problem was that not holding hands was getting increasingly difficult, for Juan anyway.
He liked being affectionate with Fillip, he really wished they lived the kind of life that allowed him to do so freely. Fillip was affectionate, in different ways than himself. Still the little things they snuck here and there were an adrenaline rush. Sometimes when Juan was feeling especially affectionate or needy, sometimes he would pretend to be in little space as Fillip called it. He still felt confused by all of that. Sometimes he felt what probably qualified as small, but often he just felt safe when he was with someone. He liked not having to make decisions and being able to just do things he liked. That was on his list of things to talk about with this lady, but probably not today.
"Juan. Are you with us?" She folded her hands in front of her, Fillip squeezed his hand.
"Hmm? yeah. Sorta." He grinned sheepishly.
Fillip leaned over to whisper, "Ye gettin restless baby?"
Of course, Fillip knew the answer, of course he was getting restless. He struggled to sit anywhere for any amount of time. He was running out of patience but trying his best to do good. Fillip nodded at the Dr, in mutual understanding.
"We're almost finished Juan. Just need you to sign a few things to give Fillip permission going forward. This would allow him to pick up your prescriptions in your absence. This doesn't give him access to your file. Is now a good time for you to sign those?" She slid the papers over to him. He nodded, bringing himself back to the present. He also needed to talk to her about Fillip being able to make decisions for him. If it should come up here, like what if she wanted to change his medications? What if she asked him questions, he couldn't answer? What if he shut down in front of her? He neatly signed the documents for her, sliding the papers back over to her.
"Thank you for doing this for us. I really appreciate it doc." He reached to shake her hand.
"Of course, Juan. It was a pleasure to meet you Fillip."
Juan made it to the door before turning back to her, Fillip cocked his head curiously.
"What is it Juan?" She asked, voice laced with concern.
"Was wondering if we have enough time for me to explain one more thing. Its important." His eyes cast down, waiting for rejection.
"Of course, Juan, I can give you a few more minutes. Have a seat." She sat back down in a regular chair away from her desk. The area she deemed the conversation zone. Fillip followed him, unsure of what was about to be said.
"Ye want me to step out lad?" He wanted to give him the option, however, Juan grabbed his arm and pulled him to a chair as well.
"Just, those papers, I know they give Fillip legal permission to get my medications, and to ask questions about them. I also just wanted to tell you, or hope it was okay anyway. Um... He... um, he helps me make a lot of decisions. I want to be able to make decisions if I feel like I can't. If that should ever come up."
The both looked at him slightly confused.
"Can you elaborate Juan?" She folded her hands on her lap, looking at him inquisitively.
