Brave Bold Belle (ft. Liam Payne)

Chapter 14 - Nicer

Liam has lost his smile and stares at me with a serious expression. I don't know why I opened up with him. I don't think he meant knowing that much about my life when he asked. I feel embarrassed now because I talked too much. I don't know why, it's like I was holding back for so long and once I started talking I couldn't stop. I don't regret my choices, I just wish I could've had more options back then.

"Your life revolves around your father," he comments and I look down.

"Yes," I confess in a whisper.

"That's why you accepted this deal. I mean, you said it but I get it now. I thought that at some level you wanted this and you were just being proud, but you really just accepted for his sake." I can't answer that, it's the truth. "What happened to him?"

"Mum." I look up and he seems confused by my answer so I expand. "Dad's world was my mum and when she died he couldn't get back on his feet. He became unreliable and I had to take control of the situation. Even after all these years he still isn't the same."

"I'm sorry," he offers and it's the first time he sounds sincere and, well, sorry, even if it's not his fault.

This is the first time I see a glimpse of that boy everyone talks about, the one that disappeared before I got to know him. His eyes look kind, his expression is concerned and even his body language tells me he really means his words. When I see him like this I feel something raising inside of me, something I don't understand.

I feel sad, like I’ve lost something but I don’t know what.

"Thanks," I reply. "What about you? I told you my whole story now it's just fair you tell me about yours."

He chuckles a bit uncomfortable and takes a bite of his food.

"Well, I wasn't like you. I never appreciated studying, I kinda hated it. I just wanted to dedicate myself to music, you know? This is all I dreamt of my whole life so I went on the X Factor. I was still sixteen and it didn’t turn out well the first time, but I went again and that's when I met the lads and we started One Direction. I guess we were lucky to get together just at that time. One thing led to another and we were already successful before we knew it. I barely finished secondary and never thought of taking the A levels. I just wanted to finish school to fully concentrate on my career." I listen to him carefully, noticing how different we are. "From then onwards it was only up. Interviews, gigs, awards and loads and loads of work to fulfil the demand. I can't tell you when we became this big. It seems like from one day to another I just couldn't go out without fans mobbing me, I couldn't go on twitter without being spammed. I couldn't say something without the media twisting my words to sell."

"It didn't happen gradually?" I ask and he shrugs.

"I guess, it's just that this gradually was too fast. From being this boy who had such a small room where it barely fit a bed and who no one took seriously, I became this mega figure with a room the size of my old house. Now people recognise me, admire me, notice me and want me to be with them. Before I was ignored, bullied. Now I'm desired."

I keep staring at him as I hear the resentment in his words, as I see the tension in his shoulders whilst he reminisces the past. He was a good boy because he was isolated, he craved attention, love and recognition and once he got it… he changed.

"You changed. I saw interviews of you at the beginning and you were nothing like this." Liam meets my eyes and I can't tell what he is thinking but he doesn't look pleased.

"Can't you blame me?" is his comeback and I sigh.

"I guess no," I sigh. "I just think it's a pity. I would've liked meeting the old you."