The Raven Boys x Reader

Gansey X Depressed!Reader

Character – Richard 'Gansey' |||

Reader Insert – Y/N

Writing prompt – 'I'm not feeling very well.'

_____! – Depressed!

Y/N laid on Gansey's bed. The sheets still messy and unmade; just how he had left them when he woke up. She bunched the sheets up in her hands and scrunched her eyes shut. She willed herself to disappear; she wished that Ganey's bed had the same ability as Cabeswater. She laid there, empty and numb. She felt completely and utterly defeated. She had tried to stop it; to slow it down. But deep down, she knew that it would catch her eventually. You can run but you can't hide. Hopelessness crushed her like a weight; her lack of motivation kept her from getting back up. She didn't know how to keep going. Breathing felt like a chore; living felt like more effort than it was worth. The only thing keeping her from giving in were her Raven Boys. Noah, who would pat her head when he knew she felt bad. Adam, who would make her tea when she had been staring at nothing for too long. Ronan, who would take you for a drive when he knew that the four walls of Monmouth Manufacturing were suffocating her. And Gansey. Oh, Gansey. Y/N and Gansey had been dating for a year now, and he never ceased to be her lifeline. He gave Y/N the best hugs. Gansey's hugs said something different every time. Sometimes, they said, "I'm here." Other times they said, "Keep fighting, Y/N.". Gansey breathed life into Y/N. Without Gansey, Y/N wouldn't exist, and all of the Raven Boys knew that.

She had considered it a few times; taking her life. How she would do it, what she would leave behind; but she could never bring herself to leave Gansey. She didn't want to die if it meant that she couldn't be with him anymore. She would miss his touch; the way he would intertwine their fingers; the way he looked at her. She shuddered at the thought of leaving him.

She was roused from her thoughts when she heard a voice say her name.

"Y/N?" It was Gansey. He slipped his messenger bag over his head; placing it on the desk chair. "What are you doing here?" He walked over to Y/N, sitting on the bed when he reached her.

"I don't really know." Y/N whispered distantly; she covered her face with her arm to hide her face.

Gansey sighed; his face grave. He placed a warm hand on Y/N's arm.

"Come here." He said softly, holding out his arms.

Y/N sniffled and crawled over to him, climbing into his arms. He enveloped her in a hug. His arms wrapping around her; one holding the back of her head and the other rubbing circles on her back.

Y/N buried her face in Gansey's chest, breathing in his soothing scent; mint leaves.

"I'm here, Y/N." He whispered into her ear. He kissed the top of her head and tightened his arms around her. "I'm always here."

Up until now, Y/N was able to contain her tears. She felt more numb than sad; her emotions seemingly bereaved by the monsters in her head. But Gansey made her feel. He seemed to be the missing key; he opened up the floodgates. Y/N felt her emotions slowly start to return. Her nose twitched in anticipation of tears, her eyebrows furrowed; contorting her face into one portraying pain, tears began to well in her eyes. All at once, it felt like her heart had started again.

She sobbed. She sobbed until her throat was raw. She sobbed until she ran out of tears. She sobbed until she couldn't sob anymore. And throughout it all, Gansey held her. He kissed her hair, whispered motivation into her ears, and listened to her incoherent, sob-muffled sadness. He held her until she finally pulled away.

Y/N wiped her tear-streaked face and smoothed down her hair. When she looked up, she was greeted by Gansey's worried-looking face. She smiled sadly and averted her eyes.

"I'd do anything for you, Y/N, you know that right?" He said softly, reaching out to take her hand. He squeezed her hand, running circles on it with his thumb.

Y/N nodded and sighed, crawling back into his arms. She sat in his lap, cradled by his strong arms.

"I feel so tired, Gansey." She muttered, burying her face into his chest.

Gansey sighed and pulled her closer. "I know, bird, I know."

She smiled at his nickname for her; fond memories of the day he gave her it filling her mind.

"I don't think you'll ever know how much you mean to me." She smiled, reaching up to caress his cheek.

Gansey removed his head from the top of hers and looked down at her, gazing into her eyes. He often wondered how he had been so lucky to have Y/N. She got along perfectly with his friends, she helped them hunt for Glendower; she was the missing piece.

Gansey leaned down, pressing his lips to hers. It was a sweet, innocent kiss. It was the type of kiss that made everything else fade into the background. It was the type of kiss Y/N sorely needed.