Life As I Know It (Completed)

Chapter Twenty-nine - It's a Wrap

          "I love you." The words seemed to reverberate around the room, as I pulled back from Drew.

          He... he loved me?

           What did he... why was...? Just what? He loved me. Drew Hamilton loved me. Oh my god. Why wasn't I saying anything back? My mouth remained slack as I stared at him, despite the fact that my mind was practically hurling profanities at it. Did I love him? Had I actually fallen in love? I hadn't given it much thought. I hadn't given it any thought.

           The L-word was something I'd never said to a previous boyfriend. It made me cringe when I heard so many teenagers just throw it around like it was nothing. Like it meant nothing. What did it even mean to be in love? I knew what it was like to love someone, I knew all about that. But, how could you tell if you were in love with someone? There was no rulebook out there and I wasn't about to experience some profound epiphany any time soon.

           I stood there completely frozen as I watched Drew's face fall slightly. He quickly composed it.

            "I don't expect you to say it back." He smiled reassuringly at me, though it seemed to take a lot of effort. "I mean, it would have been nice." He laughed self-deprecatingly. "But, I just wanted to tell you how I felt. I've liked you for so long now, and I'm sure about how I feel and where I want this relationship to go, but you've only just recently started developing feelings for me..."

            "I'm sorry," I managed to whisper. Wrong thing to say, I quickly realised after seeing Drew's panicked expression. "I mean, I'm sorry I was so self-absorbed not to notice how you felt before."

           Did I love him? I couldn't really think with Drew's hopeful face in front of mine like that. This seemed so cruel to him. I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if I'd told someone I'd loved them and they didn't say it back. But he'd obviously given this a lot of thought, whereas I felt like I'd been completely blind sighted. He'd just kind of sprung it on me.

           Maybe I did. Love him that is. I thought of how it felt sleeping, cuddled up next to him. How much I loved the way he blushed. How his kissed made me feel.

           Love. Amour. Piyar. Liebe. Hubb. Koi. I thought of the word and the many languages it could be personified in. So many said it when they didn't mean it or said it when they thought they meant it. I realised that if I said the words to Drew, they wouldn't be a lie. I'd mean them.

           I loved him, I realised, feeling happy and excited all in one.

           He loved me. I loved him. We loved each other. It boggled my mind.

          "I... I love you too," I told him, unable to stop a huge smile from forming on my face. I watched his eyes light up before he crushed me tightly against him.

           "Say it again," he demanded against my mouth.

           "I, Ellie Devlin, love you, Drew Hamilton." I grinned cheekily at him, feeling breathless with laughter.

           "You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that," he laughed shakily, and the sound was so endearing.

           "Just relieved?" I raised an eyebrow at him, feeling playful, and light-hearted. I wanted to scream to the heavens that Drew Hamilton was in love with me.

           "And ecstatic, and happy and over the damn flippin' moon." He punctuated every word with a kiss. I laughed, glorying in the moment between the two of us. We ended up making out in the den for the next hour.