To Arcadia

2

***

I found Australia to be as intimidating as it was beautiful. Everything was larger and louder than I had imagined. In every direction I turned was a new discovery more enticing than the last; an endless expanse of motionless water on one side; deep folds of mountains behind me; and above my head a bird that shrieked like a drunkard.

It was night when I arrived at St Margaret's university and I wouldn't truly appreciate the bestrewn beauty of the place until the next morning. It was a sprawling campus made up of an abundance of tree-lined cobbled paths and mismatched buildings clustered around the hall, an ancient four storied manor perched on a hillside. Over time ropes of vegetation had snaked their way up its walls and nested in the cracks, until the mansion looked as natural to the earth as the billabong it overlooked.

I was dropped at a quaint, brick-mortar dormitory that sat on the lonely edge of the university while Professor Vale went off to meet his research partner. The sputtering engine of the car must have been loud, because no sooner had I stepped out and a girl had swung the door open and was rushing towards me, grinning so broadly the corners of her mouth stretched to her beady eyes like a feline.

"Felix!" She exclaimed with such joy I had to consider for a moment whether I had met her before and was reuniting with a bosom friend. She was short, with mouse coloured hair and a rather plain mousey complexion, and was overall, so exceptionally ordinary looking that forgetting her face was in the realm of possibility.

"Uh, hello. It's Fel actually if you wouldn't mind,"

"I don't mind, not at all." To my relief it seemed I really hadn't met her before because she added, "my name is Ellie by the way. You're a bit late, I've been waiting since the afternoon." She extended her arm and grabbed my hand into an enthusiastic handshake that was so firm I imagined steel beneath the sweaty skin of her palm.

"Oh, sorry" I said through gritted teeth as my hand crushed beneath her fingers

Ellie's eyes were wide and expectant and she stared up at me. She demanded suddenly, "You're from England aren't you? What are you studying? Law?"

"Uh no," I said, taken aback by the rush of questions. "Microbiology actually. And I'm here for research not-"

"Oh, I thought so. It's takes a certain type of person to do law, it's more than brains you know"

"Right"

"I'm studying law by the way," she added after a few moments.

"Good for you"

"And the violin. That's more for enjoyment though, I don't think I'll ever be good enough to make a career out of it."

"That's nice"

"I am half German though," she continued in a flood of words, "and Germans are much better at music, don't you agree? You English are decent, but I think literature is your strong point. Germans are rubbish at writing, I must admit- much too philosophical."

"Anyway let's go, I bet you're dying for a sleep" and before I could reply Ellie had grabbed both my suitcases, one in each hand, and was marching up the staircase. I followed in her wake, wondering how soon I could get rid of this strange girl.

***

As it turned out I found that I didn't mind Ellie half as much as I initially thought. Of course she followed me everywhere and hadn't stopped talking since I arrived, but as we sat in the common room and played a game of dirty maid, I couldn't help but think to myself that sitting with Ellie was nice.

After all those weeks with nobody but Professor Vale to talk to, I appreciated some company. It was almost like having a friend, which was a forigen feeling to me. I was much too quiet to ever interest anyone my own age. I was close with some of the other high achieving students, and some evenings we would study together, occasionally succumbing to the temptation of gossip and socialization over open textbooks. But we were never friends exactly, and mutually accepted that our relationships were founded upon schoolwork and convenience.

I was especially grateful for Ellie when later that night I met the other students staying in the dormitory. There were two language students who only spoke to each other in Latin, although I assumed from their coffee-coloured khaki shorts that they were American; and five or so boys also from England who were studying some variation of finance or business or perhaps law- whatever degree their fathers had insisted they do before inheriting their generational wealth.

"I've heard that in some parts of Australia it's so hot that the women walk around without shirts!" claimed one of the finance boys, who were sprawled as a group across the armchairs with their feet perched on the coffee table.

"What nonsense," Ellie hissed, but her revulsion went unnoticed by the group as their laughter and quarreling continued to ring around the common room. Perhaps they didn't care that we could hear them, or perhaps they didn't even know we were there.

"It's true, I've seen them. A whole beach full of girls with not a shred on," another boy piped in.

Ellie with her cheeks scarlet looked at me expectantly and I realized she wanted me to say something to them. I had no intention to, King's College was a highly prestigious school, so I was familiar with this particular species of males- the kind who would strut around the campus with their laughing mouths and tailored shirts. Money and power ran through their blood, and one thing I had learnt early on was that for rich boys there was no such thing as consequences.

"Let's go to bed," I told Ellie.

She looked like she wanted to protest but her lips set in a firm line and she nodded. We walked up the stairs and I bid her goodnight, being much too exhausted to accept her proposal of continuing our card game in her room.

I closed the door behind me and let out a sigh of relief when I was greeted by silence for the first time since I arrived. I melted into my desk chair and opened the window to let through the evening breeze.

The sky outside my window was the same inky rich purple of plum wine, and was dotted with thousands of stars. It was a moonless night and everything was shaded into one monochrome outline of blackness. The trees thick with eucalyptus leaves rustled and a swarm of winged insects hummed in symphony.

Across the courtyard a yellow light flickered from within a window on the top floor of the neighboring dorm building. I watched only half-interestedly as the shadow of a person shifted across the walls.

Suddenly the source of the shadows stepped into the view of the window. I gasped as my heart stuttered, and then stopped entirely.

A young man stood still in front of the open window, deep in thought and tilting his head in careful consideration. It was the head of Eros, poised and graceful, resembling a Greek sculpture from the noblest era as he stood there indefinitely posed in an alluring contrapposto. His chest was bare and smooth and the color of creamy marble, and a mop of unruly curls brushed the tips of his shoulder blades. Even from the distance I could make out the graceful bones that added to form the most beautiful face I had ever seen.

I watched the boy lean over to pick something from the floor, and the deep grooves of his abdominal muscles became sharply defined. It had been a long time since I felt such a powerful attraction to someone, and something like a sigh escaped me. I smiled at my own foolishness but still couldn't dare to look away. I had felt attraction before but I never allowed myself to dwell on it, it was dangerous in those times and besides, I considered myself too unattractive to interest anyone.

But this boy was different, I was content just sitting silently and appreciating his beauty for those few moments, before I diverted my eyes for a second and looked back to see his window was closed.

The boy was gone. All I could see was a draped curtain that had fallen as if to announce that the show had ended , just as quickly as it had begun. 

***