Summer Rain

[31] Break My Heart

     "Are you okay? Kallie texted me about what happened, but I didn't get it until today. Are you out of the hospital, yet?" he asked. I breathed a quiet sigh of relief when I realized he was talking about the Jared thing, and not what happened today.

     "I'm okay. I've been better," I said truthfully. My not feeling the best was more from today, though.

     "That's good. If you don't mind me asking, what don't you want to tell Kallie?" I gulped. I almost wanted to tell someone, and ask for their opinion, but at the same time, I didn't want to think of what had happened. Devon only knew the rough sketches of me and Kaden, but then again, with all that we had hid, no one else really knew all that much either. "You don't have to tell me. I don't want to pry," Devon added.

     "No, it's not that. It's just, it hurts to think about. I guess I kind of want to tell someone," I admitted.

     "You can tell me," Devon said hesitantly. "I won't force you to or anything, but I'm here for you," he told me.

     I smiled faintly. "Thanks." It was nice to know that someone was there. I didn't doubt that no one cared, or anything, but it was still reassuring to hear it.

     "Does that mean I don't get to know?" he asked lightly after a moment of silence.

     Despite everything, that drew a small laugh from me. Thinking of what he wanted to know made me choke on it, though. "It started a long time ago," I said, taking a breath to calm myself before starting at the beginning.

     It took a while for me to explain everything. It wasn't long, really, just complicated, but it was worth it. Honestly, it felt good to let it all out. To finally tell someone.

     "Well, first off, he's a jerk," Devon told me after I finished. "I don't know what to say. I guess you both made your mistakes, but doing revenge sounds childish to me. It's a jerk move on his part." I blinked. Revenge? I hadn't thought of that, but I guess, it would be a valid reason. Had it all been revenge, though? This whole summer?

     "Maybe I'm not in the best position to judge, but it seemed like revenge to me," Devon said uncertainly.

     "I gotta go, Devon. Thanks for everything." I hung up before he responded. Revenge? Had that been all this was to him? I really didn't want to think Kaden was that kind of person, but it all added up. It made sense.

     My phone buzzed with a text. From Miranda.

     Kallie told me that you saw. I'm sorry, Raine. I know it's not an excuse, but he kissed me and it just felt familiar. I'm really sorry. Really.

     That killed any hope I had left of it being Miranda that initiated the kiss. It had been Kaden that started it. That just made it so much worse.

     Maybe, I could've dealt if it had been Miranda who had kissed him first, but now...

     He had been the one to start it. It seemed like revenge. I dropped onto my bed, those two thoughts looping over and over in my head. I finally let the years I had been holding back spill over. I wasn't sure how long I stayed like that, curled up in a ball, but it seemed like a long torturous eternity. The tears finally dried up, and slowly, I felt my eyes drift shut.

***

     I felt horrible when I woke up. Waking up after crying yourself to sleep was never the most pleasant feeling. My phone was sitting on the pillow beside me, buzzing. Flipping it open, I saw that I had a dozen missed calls and even more texts. They were pretty much all from Kallie. I sighed and shut it off before getting up and slowly walking downstairs.

     What was I supposed to do now? Go back to pretending nothing had happened? Could I do that again? Well, I guess I didn't have much of a choice. What other option did I have?

     Then it came to me. I had one other choice. Could I really do that, though? I hadn't been able to even think of doing it a couple weeks ago, but now, with everything that had happened...

     The letter from RHS sat on the kitchen table, tempting me. Mom must've put it there after I had told her I wasn't going to go last. I had made my decision last week, she had taken it and slipped it into her bag, telling me that she would email them with my answer. Had she done that yet? Probably not, with the case about Jared, but even if she hadn't, would they still let me in? It was pretty late, school started it a week and a half.

     Could I do it, though? Could I leave everything? I had grown up here, I knew pretty much everyone. But with everything that had happened... I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay. RHS would help my future, but it would be a completely new place. I didn't know anyone there. There wouldn't be anyone I could easily turn to for comfort or anything. The thing was, everyone I knew was here, but this summer had left a stain of bad memories.

     I thought about Kaden. Kaden and Miranda. Kaden and me. Everything that had happened between us. He had affected my decision of staying. A lot. Maybe more that he should've. I shouldn't let him control my future, right? He shouldn't be able to affect it so much. Especially after what he did.

     That's when I made my decision.

     I was going.

     It mattered to me.

     As I walked upstairs to pack, I typed one last message to Kallie and sent it.

     You were wrong, Kal, even I can't hold him.

 

-READ ME-

Okay, from the comments last chapter I know you guys are all sort of hating Kaden. Just remember, you guys still (yes, still) don't know the whole story. And Raine's done stuff as well. Like, she's never been the one to try and get them together. It's always been Kallie or Kaden. I said the characters wouldn't be perfect. They make stupid mistakes, like we do in real life. I'm trying I make this as realistic and non-cliché as possible.

Okay, rant over, sorry, I just didn't want you guys thinking Kaden should go throw himself off a cliff. He has his reasons. And Raine sounds mean and impulsive at end, I know. She going through the anger phase.

Vote, if you want to know Kaden's reasons.
Comment, if you're sad about this story ending.
Fan, if you, um, liked the story?

Update: Tomorrow, probably.

~JJ :)