the diary; nick mara

eighteen

"okay, well i brought food. I hope you don't mind eating a breakfast burrito, i didn't know you were here until i got here, but you can have mine and i'll go get something else."

he shook his head. "no, you can have it. i can just go get somethin-"

"no, seriously. i want you to have it. i need to go back out anyway." she said, pushing the food towards nick and giving sage her food.

"you need to clean up the house after you finish eating." she said sternly to sage, and the young girl nodded. "yes. i'm aware." sage said in a snarky tone.

"what?" her mother asked as if she didn't hear correctly, daring sage to use the tone of voice again. she was a cool mom, no doubt, but she taught discipline. she could put sage in her place quickly, how do you think sage grew up to be such a good role model for younger girls?

"i said yes ma'am"

"mhm, that's what i thought." her mom said, putting some cleaning supplies on the table and leaving to her room.

the two took their time eating. they talked a lot. he was back to telling her the most important things in his life.

"my dad called me yesterday." he said while casually eating his food.

sage didn't mean to have such an insensitive reaction, but she gasped, and then the food in her mouth flew down her windpipe.

she started coughing obnoxiously. nick stood up to get her water, and helped her catch her breath.

"are you okay?" he asked, rubbing her back.

"yeah, are you?" she asked, looking into his eyes. he shrugged.

"yeah."

"what did he say?" she asked, making him purse his lips.

"he told me that he didn't wanna start the year off without a relationship with me. and i told him that if he doesn't have one with gia he can't have one with me." he said, looking down.

"and what'd he say to that?"

"he just avoided it. he said some stupid shit like 'nick we were best friends.' and i told him to fuck off. it hurt me, y'know? like i do have love for him, he fucking raised me. he taught me how to ride a bike, he played hockey with me back and jersey, he ate breakfast with me and drove me to school everyday. so it's hard to be so cold with him, but like, what am i supposed to do? he left me. right when i was fourteen. i mean that was arguably the most important part of my life. he was supposed to teach me the shit i had to learn on my own because my mom didn't have time to teach me these valuable lessons, she was raising a baby that he was supposed to fucking help her with."

sage reached over the table to grab his hand. "but look how great you are, nick. you are one of the best men in my life." she said and he nodded.

"i know but i had to learn this shit the hard way. i didn't get some sit down talk about safe sex i had to experience a pregnancy scare as a sophomore in high school, do you know how fucking scary that is? to think that you are about to bring another child into this world and be scared that you can't take care of it? that it would be another child that my mom had to worry about the safety of all while maintaining her sanity?" she squeezed his hand tighter.

"i thank god she wasn't pregnant, but what if she was? like, you'd think it would be fine because i did have him for majority of my childhood, but that's worse. I'm not blaming you anymore and i'm truly over the situation, but when you cheated on me all i could think about was how yet another person i love betrayed me."

"i'm sorry." she said, looking into his sad and glossy eyes.

"it's fine, sage." she rubbed his hand with her thumb showing him comfort.

"and i wasn't even gonna come to this party yesterday. but when i was sitting at home with no one, because, though she'd drop everything to make time for me, my mom was with gia and i didn't wanna worry her, i realized that i'd be fucking stupid to let what we have go. because he is my father. he literally created me, and he left me. and you haven't given up on the mess that is me. and he did. and it would be such a mistake to treat you so badly because of one mistake you made; to leave one of the few people that truly loves me over a kiss with edwin. and when i was sad i needed someone's comfort, and i could've went to my mom or any of the boys, but i wanted to be with you. and i wanted to tell you i love you before it was too late....never doubt my love for you, sage. it will always be true. i love you, because i know you love me. you are my everything and i thank you so much for doing so much for me and my family." he said. he had yet to let all of this off of his chest since his dad left.

he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. sage stood up and went over to stand in front of him. she wiped the tears that he didn't know were falling from his eyes and gave him the biggest bear hug.

"i love you, and i would do anything for you and gia, okay?" he nodded into her neck, sniffling quietly.

" i know it may seem like you do, but you don't need your dad. you have gone the last four years of your life without him and gia has gone her entire life without him and both of you are equally as amazing. and i love you both." she pulled away from the hug to put her hands on either side of his face and look into his eyes.

"okay?"

he nodded again, pulling her warm body into his again. "are you okay?"

"yeah." he mumbled, kissing her.

the two got up to clean the house, and soon nick's animated smile was returned to his face as they put suds of soap on their faces to look like beards.

"look! who am i?" he asked her and she thought for a while.

"umm... a pedo?" she giggled.

"no, i'm santa claus, sage."

"um, nick... santa is black." she said and his eyes went large.

"santa is definitely an old white man." he said to her, continuing to was dishes.

"i really think you don't know what you're talking about. who told you this false info?" she asked him and he looked over at her.

"it's not false. it's facts." he spoke and she shook her head, putting more soap on him.

he scooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder and running outside. he held her over the pool.

"nick, stop! it's freezing out here, i'ma get pneumonia and die!" she dramatically shouted and he cackled.

"say santa's white!"

"this is racist!" she jokingly shouted.

"i guess you wanna get pneumonia." he trailed, pretending like he was going to drop her.

"nick! if i go in this pool your short ass is going with me!" she threatens, and he quirks an eyebrow.

"oh, i'm short? aight." he drops her into the pool and she screams, quickly getting out and going in to give nick a big, cold hug.

"holy shit, sage. it's cold!" he shouted and she nodded. "yeah i know, dumbass."

he ran inside and ran a hot bath, leaving shorts on, because her parents were home, and she got into her bathtub with her bra and panties on.

they talked in there. "what do you wanna do when we finish cleaning?"

"we can go to your house and paint with gianna."

"yeah, i haven't spent a good day with her in a while." he said.

"one more thing." he said, and she turned her attention to him.

"what?"

"i love you." she gave a cute smile and wrapped her in a hug.

"i love you too, babe." she said as he ran his hands through her wet curls.

and they did.

they did indeed love each other, despite being told that they were too young to know and too naive to last.

they knew, and they did. and that was that.

A/N: should i make this the end lmao. if i don't we'll only have a few more chapters. like 5. vote pls ily. 2k words.