A Wizards Misadventures

~~World 2-Level One~~

I had tried reaching out for my family in every way I could think of. I reached for them rather than Remnant, I reached for versions of them wildly different than the norm, I tried astrally projecting myself rather than just moving my soul, I tried looking through the minds of the people I knew through links to their souls, which were still present but so muted as to be useless. I couldn't go to Remnant, I couldn't see into Remnant, and I was all but certain that I couldn't send a third person to Remnant. Pit was gone too, probably the tearing feeling I felt when I first woke up.

"Here," Kuroka pushed something into my cheeks when I made no effort to open my mouth. Noodles, I vaguely recognized. I swallowed them and turned my face downwards. I didn't want to eat. She looked at me with clear concern, worry in her eyes. I kept looking downwards while I felt her her crawl over me. A moment later she was playing big spoon to me on the couch. I didn't want to admit it, but it felt nice.

"Hey…" she whispered. "When I… lost Shirone I wasn't in a good place." I stopped feeling sorry for myself and started paying her more attention.

"I was… kinda messed up," she admitted. "I stole some stuff, broke some more, and cried sometimes… pretty much every night. I beat a few people up looking for fights, and did a lot of running, not all of that just because I had to. I thought 'If I get stronger I can save my sister'. So I got stronger. Lots stronger. But I wasn't happy. I didn't really have anything, you know? I was messed up. Badly. I spent a lot of time like that. Years, I think. I hated it. I hated it so much I made it my goal to never be like that again. That's why I want a family. A huge one, with so many kids I'll never have to be sad if I lose somebody again. Do you get what I'm saying?"

I was silent. My throat hurt. I might be close to crying again.

"But I got better," she continued in the same quiet tone of voice. "People don't do stuff alone. Ever. they've always got somebody in their heart." She reached around the blankets I was cloaked with to poke me right where my heart was.

"I had Shirone in my heart. You've got your family in your heart. Yeah, it hurts. It hurts a lot. I'm not sure if I know exactly what's going on with you but I know you're hurting. Bad. But… are they dead?" I was quiet but then I shook my head a little.

"Then be happy," she said. "Your family is alive and they can live their own long, happy lives with each other. But you? You need a family. Always. Everybody does or they start hurting inside like I did. Like you are. So… start a family. Find friends, lovers, wives, battle buddies, or pets. Family makes you happy. So be happy. Trust your family to be happy…. Now do you see what I mean?" I was quiet. Then I sniffled and realized I was crying a little. I moved myself around to be facing Kuroka and took a deep breath.

"When I was young," I started, "I was… alone. For a long, long time." Memories of the desert, the parents I never really knew, and Summer passed through my mind. "Then I was… found. Adopted. Summer wasn't really a mom but she was family. When she died, I didn't have time to blame myself. I took care of Ruby. My sister. I focused everything on her… I was a little obsessive, going everywhere with her. It was, to me, how I repaid Summer, though I didn't think of it like that. I didn't have to take care of Ruby. I only knew her for a month. But… I was her big brother then. The moment Summer died." I stopped, choking. Kuroka gave me time and pressed her forehead against mine solemnly. It might have been a minute or it might have been five, but I continued.

"I did a lot. I made a company. Got rich. Ruled a city. I got an aunt for her. She was family too. But I think I realized something eventually. I didn't remember my time alone. What little fragments I remember still, I hate. I was tired and angry and alone. I wasn't feeling anything. Not really. But when I got Summer, got a family, I started remembering things. I made memories worth remembering. Happy memories. I got friends, my best friend, a community, and a girl, Pyrrha, even had a crush on me. Now… now they're all gone." With that I finally broke down into real tears. Kuroka reached around me and pulled me closer.