A Choice with Regrets [Levi Ackerman]

19

I smiled weakly, appreciating her trust in us all. Her faith in us will make us stronger.

"Right now... I just need an overwhelming amount of rest. And a nap." Abel yawns uncontrollably. "Mostly a nap."

After breakfast, we were all dismissed and went about our days until I saw Zaiya standing alone in the hallway, contemplating something until my presence disrupted her thoughts. "Hey, Zaiya..."

Zaiya didn't really appreciate my company, so I kept a good distance between us. "We haven't spoken much to each other and..."

"Don't act friendly with me. I'm not in the mood to talk today." she retorted, causing me to take a step back even more. I refused to walk away because I wanted to know my squad members a little better before anything could happen to one of us. "Zaiya, do you mind telling me why you joined the military?"

"Don't you remember?" Zaiya asked harshly. "I joined the military to slaughter titans."

"Is that really it?" I frown, a bit disgusted at her comment. "You're only killing for fun? Don't you have a reason behind it?"

She clicked her tongue in annoyance and finally gave me a decent answer, "I'm trying to earn money to help my sick father, okay?" her arms then crossed across her chest. "Now does that answer your question?"

I didn't know how to respond since her glare was intimidating me, but there was something off about her. Her mean appearance gives off a threatening aura, but deep down, she is caring. She is determined, yet she is risking her own life to save her father.

"That old man... clinging onto his dear life while his stupid daughter decided to kill titans just to save him. But look at what I've become. A piece of shit." Zaiya suddenly thought out loud. "Such a fucking pain in the ass. Maybe I should just feed myself to the titans and wait for my father in the afterlife."

"Why would you say that?" my brows furrow at her cruel words. "Your father is waiting for you to come home and now you want to give up on your life for nothing?"

"You will never understand what I'm going through." Zaiya fired back. "He's not alone either. My little sister is babysitting him, and as the oldest sister, I have to be the one earning money to support my family. It was either become a sex worker or a titan slayer."

She then slams her clenched fist against a brick wall beside her. "Damn, now that Wall Maria is swarmed with titans, Trost could be next... where my family is at. I need to continue fighting before those monsters reach what is precious to me."

For the first time, I agreed with her. In her tormented mind, she was full of hurt and regret, and I wanted to understand her. "I know you do not want to live, but at the same time, you do not want to die either..."

"We all live to die," Zaiya tells me, speaking the darkest truth about life. "Six years ago, my village was attacked by thieves and only me, my sister, and our father survived. There are times when I think of my dead mother and little brother... their remains rotted and tossed away because no one would claim them. Their bones and burned flesh surely carried away by some wolf burrow to be gnawed on."

I truly wanted to sympathize with her, but she wouldn't let me. "I'm sorry—"

"Don't think you understand me." Zaiya caused me to flinch back. "You're starting to piss me off, especially when you're too clingy with our captain Levi. Don't tell me you are attached to him?"