the diary; nick mara

seventeen *

"hey if someone shows up give them a drink and turn some music on please. i'll be right back." sage spoke, visibly nervous. she ran off into the bathroom and brandon knew exactly what was happening. he had seen sage through her best and worst times; since they were around each other a lot.

she had the same look on her face that she did the day their families went on a cruise together. she was shaking, trembling with fear. she loved the water, but feared how much power it held over her when she was on that cruise, much like her situation with nick.

brandon looked around for a second before sneaking off behind sage. he knocked on the door softly. "occupied!" she said, making it seem like she was just using the bathroom.

"sage? it's b. open up please." he said softly and she knew very well that he knew exactly what was happening. "uh...that's kinda weird. i'm peeing, brandon." she said and he chuckled.

"sage, you are not peeing."

"i'm- uh...changing my tampon?" she thought of ways to get him to leave but he wouldn't budge.

he eventually heard the door unlock and open. he looked down to see her looking up at him with sad eyes.

he pulled her into a hug and she relaxed. brandon was something like a brother to her, they used to be a lot closer when they were little but they still loved each other dearly. he'd do anything to protect her.

"why are you crying?" he asked her, though he already knew the answer would be nick.

"what if he never forgives me? like- imagine being in love with someone and knowing that they hate you." she said into his shoulder and he shook his head.

"he doesn't hate you and you know it, sage. you hurt him-"

"i know but i'm so sorry. if i could take it back i'd do it in a heartbeat, i'm not even drinking tonight. i'm scared to because what if i just keep ruining everything?" she interrupted.

brandon sighed and pulled away to look at her eyes. "sage."

"hm?" she sniffled.

"you love nick, yes?" he asked and she nodded. "and- really think about this- you know he loves you, right?" he asks again and she looks down for a while before looking up and nodding.

"and he's trying. you know that. but nick has been through a lot, i'm sure you know more than i do, and he just wants to protect himself."

she breaks eye contact, but agrees with him nonetheless. "i know."

"so stop crying, okay? he's coming here tonight to fix things, why else would he spend the last week talking to you more?" he said and she nodded, pulling him into yet another hug.

"thanks, b. i love you." she said and he rubbed her back softly.

"i love you more. now go have fun. you have a party to host." he said, opening the door and pushing her out of the bathroom.

*

it was about an hour into the party when nick pulled up to sage's house. he was late, because when was he not?

he turned his new car off and sat there for a while, before exhaling and opening the door.

he'd been talking to her since christmas, but only as friends. he wanted to fix their friendship before he could fix anything else.

he was tired of being mad at her. he could tell she was truly sorry and he loved her with his entire heart, so there was no point in continuing to push her away when all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms.