The Sassy Five

Chapter 5 (John's Point of View)

I pointed and laughed and flipped my hair as Nancy ran out the door. "Ew," I heard Pete mumble. "That dress is hideous!" he called to her. Honey, you should NOT be talking. I looked down at my long, sassy hair. So long, so wavy, so sassy. I deserved to be the leader of the Sassy Five. I was obvi the sassiest. Paul was just a dumb, stupid whore. 

I looked in Paul's full length mirror. We never got my eyeliner. That dumb bitch Paul was too busy staring at my ass to remember my important needs. I guess my ass is irresistable. Sometimes I even catch myself looking at it.

Then, I saw on Paul's purple dresser. It was next to his perfume. Eyeliner. It was a terrible brand, of course, but it was eyeliner. When Paul wasn't looking, I got up, flipped my hair and put my hand on my hip, and walked over to his dresser. Then, I put on the eyeliner. I am SO good with makeup.

I was doing cat eyes, which was my signature, but then stupid, dumb-ass, ugly-finger nailed Pete catches me. 

"Oh my god, Paulie, John is using your eyeliner!" he said, with a sassy laugh, and then he checked his finger nails. 

"Oh my god, John, you slut!" Jimmy gasped, and flipped his hair, which was nowhere near as gorgeous as mine.

"You did not?!" Paul screamed. He saw my fierce cat eyes.

"Bitch, it's on!" he said, running towards me with his hand on his hip. Ew, what a loser. He started to scratch at my face. Then, he slapped my across my face.

"Girl, this is getting good!" I heard Mike say to Jimmy.

"Shut up, Mike, get your ass back to Texas!" I snapped back. Oh my god, I am such a sassy bitch!

"Well!" I heard Mike say under his breath. His hand was on his hip, and he snarled at me. Ew! Don't look at me, hillbilly.

Paul and I were fighting after that, although I clearly was a much sassier fighter. And then, I hear this annoying creaking noise. It was the door, and there was a pig standing in the doorway!

Oh, wait. It was just Nancy.

"Boys, what is going on in here?" she cried. Nosy bitch, get out of here!

"Nancy, why do you need to know everything? You stupid whore, like, get a life!" Mike said, flipping his hair.

"Oh my god, Mike, think of a better comeback next time, you peasant!" Pete interrupted, looking at his nails.

"PETE, YOUR NAILS ARE UGLY AS SHIT!" Mike screamed at the top of his lungs. Oh, damn! I could have done better, but it was on!

Pete swung a sassy punch at Mike, but accidentally hit Nancy in the face. Oh my god, what if this actually made her uglier than she already was? She started bawling. We all laughed our sassy laughs at her.

Mike pushed Pete to the ground, and started scratching him. Pete kicked him, and Mike rolled over on his side.

"OMG, Mikey, are you okay?" Jimmy wailed. 

"What the hell do you think, bitch?" Mike yelled, raising his eyebrows. 

Jimmy turned to Pete. "How dare you do that to my bestie?" he said, and started stomping on Pete's stomach. Ew. Pete's such a twig, no wonder we all hate him.

"You know what?" Mike said, standing up and flipping his hair out of his ugly ass face. "I'm leaving! Nesmith, out!" He stomped out the door, his pink pajamas all ripped. Ew! Slut! 

"Wait for me, girl!" Jimmy called out, copying Mike and flipping his hair. Dumb wannabe.

Pete looked at his nails, and gasped. 

"They're broken! Oh my god! Mike's such a bitch!" he ran out the door, crying. I pointed and laughed at him.

"Leave my house, John," Paul said to me. He got up, and put his hand on his hip.

"Fine by me!" I screamed, and walked out the door, making sure I got in one final hair flip. Paul wants my hair. I know he does. Who wouldn't?

I entered the kitchen, and saw Nancy, still crying. I snuck up behind her and kicked her thigh. Ew. It jiggled.

"Fat ass!" I called, as I opened the door and left Paul's house.

Sometimes, I don't even know how I can handle my own sass.