We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves. - Francois de la Rochefoucauld
I jolted awake. The sky was still dark. But I knew I had woken up for an entirely different reason. Recently the nightmares had started up again, this time twisted with details from the cases.
One nightmare, in particular, was the worst, and if I woke up from it I wasn't likely to fall back asleep. As my mind would be too busy replaying the events, pulling them apart and amplifying the worse of it. I would always wake up to Reid killing himself right in front of me. The burnt bodies of the team joining my family. Burning flesh fresh in my nose. His finals words were always the same.
"You couldn't save them, your own family. What makes you think you could have saved us? I'm doing you a favor." And he pulls the trigger sending blood all over me.
The last case we had worked had ended in suicide. I tried to reason with our unsub, we all had believed I had talked him down but just as I stepped forward to grab his gun he turned it up and pulled the trigger.
I peeked at my alarm seeing that it was only 4 am, I sighed and stood up. I softly stretched before walking over to my wall of books. I contemplated what I needed to calm the ever racing pot of thoughts in my head. I paused as my hand ran over my copy of 'The Narrative of John Smith' by Arthur Conan Doyle, a book that Reid and I had spent countless hours discussing. I pulled it out and relaxed into my armchair. I flicked on my reading light before opening the book. I'd read the book so many times the spine flaked when I opened it.
When my alarm finally went off, I had switched to 'The Planet Factory' by Elizabeth Tasker and I was sitting somewhat upside down. I had managed to quiet the chatter in my skull for a while. I just hoped that we had a busy day today. I wasn't in the mood to be profiled while doing desk work. Today was a day that I hated knowing profiles.
I hopped up and turned my alarm off and headed in for a shower.
When I got out I decided today was slacks and blouse kinda day. I wasn't in the mood for a skirt. I threw on an olive blazer and my green converse and grabbed my bag and my go-bag and headed downstairs. I saw Beth and my dad having a silent but serious conversation before they spotted me. I cleared my throat and they turned to me.
"Good morning honey!" Beth cooed as she put some bacon and eggs on my plate.
"Maxine, are you okay to go to work today? I know what today is and I would happily give you the day off if you need it." My dad asked as he watched me. I smiled at him.
"I'm good today dad, I mean it. This job makes it easier." I chugged some of my coffee.
"Okay honey."
***
On the way to work I remembered to check my phone and I pulled it out. I had two unread messages.
9:46 pm
Spence: Wow that's beautiful. I take it you're a Capricorn, aren't you?
10:39 pm
Spence: Goodnight Max, when you start getting nightmares I'm here for you.
I looked out the window and gasped. How did he know about the nightmares?
Max: How did you know about the nightmares?
"Who are you texting this early in the morning?" I jumped at my dad's voice. He was using his dad voice, a voice he didn't use all that often anymore.
"The team, they were asking if I had a hangover. They profiled me as I lightweight I guess." We both laughed. I don't know why I lied, but I did.
We pulled into the parking lot and within minutes I was at my desk placing my bags on the floor. I walked over to the coffee pot and poured myself a nice mug of pure black coffee.
YOU ARE READING
Counting Sheep
Fanfiction*This is not a Y/N story, I've seen plenty of confusion but the main character is my own OC that I've created for this story* Maxine Carter was known for a few things. She had been a child prodigy and also that she was the sole survivor of the "Coun...
