Des sentiments à nouveau

Midnight confessions

The hot water of the shower was a contrast to how cold Amélie's skin was. Her shower was quick but it did relieve her of some stress. She dressed in black sweat pants and a black tank top, it was comfortable but her body was still tense. Her long hair stayed loose and still wet, she was just too tired to dry it completely.

When Amélie got out she saw Esther sitting on her bed, looking out the balcony doors to the black night sky. The moon and stars where barely visible today, covered by pitch-black clouds of rain.

When Esther heard the bathroom door open she turned her head to look at Amélie. She looked beautiful, so different without her uniform and little bloodstains covering it.

Esther gave her the tiniest of smiles and patted the space next to her on the bed for Amélie to sit down.

As Amélie sat down she couldn't help but wince a little at the pain in her abdomen.

Esther noticed that. "did you hurt your old wounds?"

"Only a little. Nothing to worry about, chérie"

Amélie didn't sound like herself, she was less confident, less intimidating. But nonetheless, Esther bowed her head and just nodded.

They stayed silent for some minutes, with a distance between them that felt unbearable for Amélie. A distance that went beyond just physical.

So she opened her mouth to finally try and speak "about... Last week, I'm sorry... For how I acted"

That was probably the most unsure Amélie ever sounded like in her entire life. And she hated it.

"You already said that" Esther kept her eyes focused outside. Away from Amélie.

"Tell me something I don't know"

For some reason, Amélie really didn't want to. For some reason, she wanted to shield Esther from all the bad that already happened. But she couldn't, not anymore.

So Amélie took a deep breath and clutched her hands together.

"A long time ago, I had a very different life from the one I have today" Amélie started. She tried to keep her tone neutral, but it was slowly breaking.

Her sweet voice made Esther finally look at her.

"It was a good life, but it was taken away from me. The ones that stole my life also changed me. A weapon. They turned me into a weapon" just barely Amélie's eyes were starting to water.

Esther had her full attention on the woman beside her now.

"After... After their changes in my body. They forced me to kill a person very dear to me. They said that emotions were weakness, and I shouldn't be weak" Amélie looked down at her hands, the hands of a killer. She didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve any comprehension or love, not anymore.

But she continued to talk because Esther deserved the truth.

"I tried to fight, for a while. But then, why would I? So I've been their weapon for the last years. No emotion, no questions, just..." Amélie's vision was blurred by unshed tears. Her hands now were shaking but she clenched her fists. She deserves the pain.

But apparently Esther thinks different, because she felt warm steady hands close around her shaky ones.

"That's not what I see. You're just a person that went through something no one ever should. And you're so brave because you're still here and I know you're still good"

Amélie's lower lip was quivering and she had trouble speaking, but she pushed the words out.

"So- some days ago I got a call. From one of the scientists and she... She told me that she wouldn't allow anything or anyone to compromise me, and I couldn't risk it because you make me... You..." The words rushed out of her so fast that Amélie's mouth just hovered open for a bit, but then she continued a little slower.