His Weapon - Book 1 [Z.M]

XLVII

As if he sensed my worry, he replied, "Nobody wanted them together."
And it rung in my ears practically the entire night.
At some point Nicholas pulled me onto his laps so I was straddling him and he hugged me so I clung to his body like a baby would. It was soo comfortable and I had no idea how much I needed such comfort.
He drew circles on my back as I played with the hairs on his head— running my fingers through them softly. He smelled heavenly. I wondered how Zayn would react to seeing me in such a position with him but I didn't dwell on it longer than a minute because after tomorrow it wouldn't matter.

Nobody wanted them together.
It bothered me that everyone felt like they had to have a say in their relationship. As much as I wanted Zayn all to myself, he was never mine and I would never live with myself knowing I took his happiness away.
He already picked her anyway.
Nicholas' scent was soo addictive and I found myself burrying my face in the crook of his neck to inhale more. He visibly tensed up, his hands coming to rest on my shoulder. He pushed me back softly and I frowned.
"Don't do that, God."
He spoke with such frustration, causing my frown to deepen
"I don't think you understand how hard it is for me to have you soo close to me and not be able to touch you."
He let out an exaggerated breath and I chuckled. He's such a drama queen sometimes but I could see the pure lust in his eyes.
"Don't fucking do that."
He pulled my lip out from between my teeth— I had no idea I was doing it until then.
"I think I need to go to bed because you're going to give me blue balls."
I actually laughed and he groaned, holding my hips firmly to prevent my movements.
"I'm gonna dream about being buried inside you tonight."
He was serious and yet I broke another smile. My forehead was somehow resting on his. He tucked a stray hair behind my ears, his lips soo close and there was no doubt he was going to kiss me.
"Let's get you to bed."
He didn't. He hugged me and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he rose to his feet. I took that opportunity to sniff him yet again and this time he didn't object.
He lowered me onto the bed, hovering over me. I unwrapped my body from his but he didn't move away. He squinted, bringing his bottom lip between his teeth.

The fuck?
"Goodnight my beautiful lady."
He whispered and laid a soft kiss to my neck before retreating. Just like that, he was no longer in sight and I let out a deep breath.
I couldn't sleep. Zayn was all I could think about— dreading every second of going back to Nany's house and having to see him. Honestly, I think I've handled myself very well physically compared to how I was feeling inside. I knew for a fact that there was no longer a heart in my chest.
The bags under my eyes could never even be described as gucci, I'd never disrespect the brand like that. I hadn't closed my eyes since Nicholas left me alone and now it was already 7:30am.
I took a quick shower, again using every product of Nicholas' that I could land my hands on. Upon exiting, I saw a black dress t-shirt on the bed. It must've been his but I knew he left it for me so I quickly changed into it. As usual I just tied my hair up into a messy bun and was set to go.

Nicholas was already dressed up and waiting for me when I stepped out.
"Morning beautiful."
He winked playfully but quickly diverted his gaze back to his phone screen. I could tell he was in the middle of something concerning business so I just mumbled a reply and grabbed an apple.
It took about five minutes before I practically dragged him out the door. I wanted to get this day over and done with. I wasn't sure yet when Nicholas was leaving for New York but I had every intention of leaving with him. I just wanted to get home.
Cheryl must've been worried sick because my phone wasn't with me and she must've called a thousand times. I made a mental note to grab it immediately I arrived so I could text her that I'm okay or something.
The car ride was long as fuck but Nicholas' attempt to ease my nerves helped out a little bit. However, it was all useless immediately we pulled into Nany's driveway. My palms became sweaty instantly. Sirens rung in my ears and my heart pounded against my chest.
To think the last memory we made together was going to be me sitting on his laps for barely five minutes— when I had no idea things were going to turn south.
I never had the slightest clue that it was going to be over the next minute until it was sealed when he left me standing there.
I just needed Cheryl's hug soo bad.

I took a deep breath, feeling Nicholas' eyes piercing through me.
"If at any point you think it's too much and you can't handle it, I'd take you out of there. Just sound the alarm."
I nodded, sending him a genuine smile which he returned but I couldn't miss the worry that flashed through his eyes. It felt good knowing that he cared for me.
Everything was happening soo fast and before I could wrap my head around it, we were walking towards the door. Unlike Zayn, Nicholas just let us in, not bothering to ring the bell and I was soo thankful. The last thing I needed was for everyone to be aware of my presence after the scene I caused last night.
"I'd be around."
He leaned in closer, something I've noticed he does when he wants to assure me. I nodded and slowly walked away.
I was dreading every moment of heading up stairs to see Zayn and I silently prayed he was still asleep so I could get my phone and slip right back out until I was bold enough to speak to him.
My heart pounded against my chest but I was just being a dramatic bitch for the most part. He's the one that should be shaking in his fucking boots for disrespecting me in such a way. With that, all fears left my body as I pushed the door open slowly.
The room was still fairly dark because the curtains were closed.

Thank you Mother Nature.

I slowly closed the door behind me, making sure not to make a single sound.
I reached for the light switch to make the entire process easier and I swear on my life— if I had known, I would've rather died than to turn that damn thing on.
My entire body froze. All the senses known to man fled me. I was fucking immobile.
The sheets only covered their lower bodies and she was practically laying on him.
I couldn't help the gasp that left my lips. She began to move, on the verge of waking up and even though I desperately wanted to run out, I couldn't.
She peeled her body off Zayn's and sat up, bringing the sheets with her to cover herself up. Her movements woke him and for seconds his brows furrowed at her in confusion before turning to look at what she was gawking at.
I was completely and utterly fucking shattered as I stared back at him for barely a second. Horror flashed through his eyes. Time stood still as I looked back and forth between them. My heart that had abandoned me returned, practically pounding against my chest like sharp knives.
"Fuck!"
He cussed, pulling away from her and standing to his feet. Everything was soo slow before my eyes but I couldn't let him come close to me. I couldn't let him touch me with his fucking filthy hands.

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•Princess T•