the diary; nick mara

thirteen

"uh-um.." he stuttered, making nick furrow his eyebrows as he sat down next to him.

"um..?" nick mocked, encouraging him to continue. "no one." the boy gulped, turning his gaze to his lap. 

this caught the attention of brandon, who quickly tapped zion. the two were laughing at edwin, feeling like the situation was lighthearted. they only thought that edwin was about to be exposed for lying about even getting to lay a finger on sage. they were wrong. sort of. 

"bro why don't you wanna tell him??" one of the boys at the table asked, and edwin attempted to kick him to give him a hint, but ended up kicking zion.

"bro touch me with that ugly ass shoe again and ima chin check your bean head ass." he said jokingly, but edwin did not seem to find it funny.

"yeah bro, you almost fucked sage. i'd be telling everyone." another boy spoke, making nick's smile instantly leave his face. suddenly edwin's weekend rendezvouses were no longer entertaining to him.

edwin facepalmed. "sage who?" nick said lowly, praying that it was another sage that he didn't know about.

"sage love, bro!" the same boy exclaimed.

nick thought for a second. could this be true? it wasn't like sage to do something like that, but what other explanation was there for her suspicious behavior. 

in a matter of milliseconds, nick had edwin by the collar, shocking everyone at the table. as far as they all knew, nick had nothing with sage, so there was no reason for this sudden rage. 

austin had saw this, quickly walking over to the table.

"you touched sage?" nick asked edwin, in his most intimidating voice. he was past the point of screaming, which was how his friends knew he was pissed.

"well... i- sort of, you see.." the curly headed boy trembled. 

"what?" nick raised his voice, demanding for edwin to continue.

"i- i didn't know you two were a thing! i swear on everything! i didn't see the messages from austin until after everything. but we only-" the boy didn't finish his sentence, as nick had drew back his fist and landed it right on edwin's face. 

the short boy stumbled back, holding his jaw as the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth.

zion rushed to nick, keeping him away from edwin, because the damage nick could do with a hit was insane. it was brutal, and though edwin pissed him off, the two were still friends.

by this time austin was at the table, trying to talk to nick. 

"you knew?" he asked calmly, almost as if he didn't just bust edwin in the face.

"yeah, but i texted him to stop, but-"

"stop, lemme understand this." nick said sarcastically. "you knew that sage and i were a thing?" the boy nodded, turning red from embarrassment. all eyes were on him. "and you aren't a fucking idiot, so i'm assuming you knew that she was drunk?"

"well yes, but i-"

"and you saw edwin walk into a fucking room with her?" 

"yes. well- i guess so-"

"and instead if getting your scrawny ass up to stop him you fucking texted him?" nick raised his voice toward the end. 

"yes, but-" nick lunged forward, now both zion and brandon held him back from reaching the poor boy. 

edwin was well on his way to the nurse by now, and austin practically had one foot in the grave, because nick lunged forward and wrapped his hands around the boys throat.

"dude, stop!" zion shouted, trying to pull nick off. 

"nick, you can't kill him, so stop being a dumbass and get off." brandon said calmly, seeming to be the one with the most common sense.

it still didn't get through to nick, though. he saw red as he pressed his thumbs into austin's neck, trying to squeeze his windpipe. 

he was finally pulled off of him, but it didn't stop him from throwing punches at the boy. 

sage walked into the cafeteria, a hot chocolate in one hand, for parker of course, and a coffee in the other. as soon as she saw nick, she dropped her things and ran over to him. 

"nick fucking stop it!" she yelled, snapping him back into reality. he looked down at the bleeding boy beneath him.

"fuck." nick sighed, getting off of austin. 

"austin, i- i don't know what came over-" he started but austin just shook his head. he was lightheaded and he didn't want to hear nick's bullshit. zion and brandon walked austin to the nurse, leaving nick alone with sage. 

"nick, what is going on?" she asked, placing her hand on his arm. he jerked his arm away, making her frown. 

"don't even touch me, sage." he said her name with disgust. 

it then registered in her mind that he knew about what happened. 

"i'm sorry." her eyes softened. 

"fuck you." he spat, making her look down. "i trusted you. i  told you shit that my own family doesn't even fucking know."

"nick..i'm sorry." it was all she could say. "i just wanted to go have fun for you. and be more social-"

"don't even try to use that as an excuse sage. when i said loosen up i meant take a shot or smoke a blunt, or even just hang out with someone for once. i didn't mean go try to fuck one of my best friends."

"i didn't try to fuck him."

"god, you are so fucking stupid. i really thought you were different. you just turning into a hoe like everyone else, huh?" it wasn't like nick to slut shame, and he knew that even if it was like him, she wasn't one. 

but she had hurt him, and this was as low as he could get with her.  

he walked away before tears could fall from his eyes. no one would get to see nick cry. 

only the most important people in his life have. 

his mother and sister, his father, sage, and austin. that was it. 

"nick mara." a voice said from behind him and he knew it was some teacher coming to annoy him.

"i know. office. i'm going." he said, ignoring whoever was behind him and walking into the bathroom to wash the blood off of his fists. 

he dried his hands and walked into the office. 

he walked past austin, who was waiting for the call from his mom that said he could go home. 

nick gave him a look of sympathy. he was sorry. he truly was. he didn't know what came over him when he was doing that, but he'd never want to hurt austin. he was one of the few people who cared about nick, and the boy would never take him for granted. 

"i'm sorry, buddy." nick said to austin, but the boy just looked down, holding the icepack to his face.

"nicholas, come in and close the door, now!" his principle called to him, and he did just that. the woman would always give him tough love. he needed it. she'd seen nick make so much growth since his freshman year, and it was unfortunate that he'd taken such a huge step backwards.

and no matter how tedious, twenty smaller steps can still override one big one.

he had to fix what he'd done. 

sage sat in the closet of her art classroom, crying.

was she really a hoe? did her stupid attempt at self validation get two of her friends beat up? did she break nick?

he'd been through so much, and never had this type of reaction.

'i broke him.' she thought to herself.

and though everyone saw sage as an angel, she was bad news. and she'd admitted it to herself.

A/N: vote, share, idk lmao. i had to go back to school today :( also i miss nick he's not active anymore.