save me; kv

chapter 17

they're enjoying their make out session, feeling so many emotions at the same time.

but when it gets hotter and hotter jeongguk stops.

taehyung looks at him sadly.

"don't you want-?", he asks with a sad look on his face that makes him look so cute at the same time.

"oh baby, i want you more than anything. but we have to wait.", he says because he wants taehyung to be 100% sure that he wants to have his first time with jeongguk. he doesn't want him to regret anything.

"okay.", taehyung says sadly and looks down at his lap. jeongguk sighs before leaning in to kiss his lips. "don't be sad angel. and don't think that i don't want you okay? i have other reasons for not doing it now.", he says and pecks taehyung's lips once again.

taehyung smiles, feeling much better now. "let's watch a movie!", he says and jeongguk nods.

~

"are you crying?", jeongguk asks laughing. "this is so sad.", taehyung sobs and jeongguk pulls him closer than before.

but he's still laughing. "don't laugh at me!"

"i'm just laughing because you're so cute."

"shut up."

"you should be careful."

"shut up."

"tae."

"shut up."

"okay, that's what you wanted.", he says and taehyung gives him a questionable look when jeongguk is suddenly above him.

and then he starts to tickle taehyung.

"n-no, stop!", taehyung says while laughing too hard.

"please! please i can't.", he says and his laughing is so cute to jeongguk. he'd do anything to always see him laugh.

after a few seconds jeongguk finally stops and taehyung is out of breath.

"puh, you almost killed me."

then taehyung's eyes land on something and he stands up to get it.

"what is that?", jeongguk asks as taehyung sits down next to him again.

"my diary."

jeongguk just stares at taehyung as he starts to open it and look through pages.

"do you want me to read something of it?"

"this is private tae and if you don't feel comfortable-"

"no, i want this.", he smiles.

jeongguk nods.

"hmmm.", taehyung thinks of which page he could read for him.

"ah, this one.", he says and picks a note that isn't too depressing.

"yesterday my dad hit me with his belt. it was the first time that he used his belt and i think that it's the worst pain that i've ever felt. physically and psychologically. he did it because i dropped his favorite cup and it broke. why do i have to be this clumsy? i love my dad very much and i think he loves me too because sometimes he's very nice to me, but then he hurts me like that and why would you ever hurt a person you love?

tonight i dreamed that he did it again. and when i woke up i panicked so hard, i thought that he was standing in my room and was about to do it again. i was crying and it took a few minutes to be able to breathe properly again.

my back hurts so much i had to sleep on my tummy today and i think i'll have to do this for the next days.

in moments like this... when my dad hurts me and my mom doesn't do anything to stop him, i feel so lonely. i feel like no one loves me and this is kind of true even though i'm the one who pushes everyone away. something must be wrong with me for pushing everyone away, right? i just hope that i will meet the person one day who will understand me. who will listen to me, hug me and love me."

jeongguk stares at the beautiful angel next to him.

"tae..."

taehyung just looks at him and smiles. "it's ok." but jeongguk pulls him into his arms. "you don't deserve this.", he says. "you're wonderful. and you should be glad that not a lot of people love you because y'know... people can be shit.", he says. "god picked good people for you to love you and take care of you. and that you push people away doesn't mean that something is wrong with you i think it makes you special."

"i think god picked you for me.", taehyung says, with a cute smile on his face.

"i will take care of you and treat you the way you deserve.", he says and kisses taehyung's forehead, making his tummy tingle like crazy.