127.8
"Spence, what would you do without me?"
Spencer gave JJ an odd look. "what do you mean?"
"if I was gone. what would you do?"
his brow furrowed in the little way it had always done when he was troubled. JJ glanced around the car, desperate to look anywhere but in her friend's eyes.
"I mean, people have left me before, you know that. my friends have moved away, but I've always gotten through it. we all have."
but that wasn't what she meant, and they both knew it.
the rest of the drive back to Quantico passed in silence.
125.6
she fired her gun at a training target until all the bullets were gone. the sound was deafening even through her earmuffs, but she didn't care. it was distant. far away, like most things in her life now.
124.1
she couldn't (wouldn't eat). Spencer noticed, but it wasn't like she didn't see the track marks appear and fade on his arms. they shared an apartment and a life, but sometimes it felt like they lived in different worlds.
122
JJ curled up in their bed and did paperwork late into the night, drinking ungodly amounts of coffee to stay awake. she didn't really need it, though. she didn't sleep much anyway. this is how he found her at four thirty-seven in the morning.
"you've got to get some sleep."
she rubbed her eyes, and Spencer went in and out of focus in the doorway. "I'm not tired, Spence."
he moved to sit next to her, and she rolled to the other side of the mattress to make room. "you know, you're still the only person who calls me that."
JJ snuggled into his arms, and he leaned his cheek against her head. "I know."
116.3
months passed, but they hardly noticed. it was December already. Cases piled higher and higher, and Hotch practically slept at the office. JJ wondered if it was easier than going home to an empty house full of ghosts of the past.
if she could rewind, she'd take it all the way back to Roz. she would save her sister and save herself.
115.9
he overdosed in January and spent ten days in the hospital trying to get clean. JJ didn't even get a call, and she was so busy with everything else in her chaotic life that she almost forgot to pick him up when he was discharged.
he looked like shit.
she looked worse.
JJ threw out the needles and heroin. Spence didn't complain. they both hoped that they could put this behind them.
they both knew that was more easily said than done.
110.2
he was three months clean. JJ was so proud when he brought home the chip she almost cried. she hugged him, and his hands slid down her back in the way that wasn't sexual or comforting but seeking. he was counting her ribs, and it wasn't hard.
she could only use the stress of the job as an excuse for so long.
Emily had tried to talk to her. JJ lied her way out of it.
Hotch and Rossi cornered her next, but she managed to get out of it. she always did.
she was going to have to get better at hiding this, whatever 'this' was.
YOU ARE READING
back to the start | Reid/JJ criminal minds
Romance"Spence...I know this last year has been especially hard for you." "Don't. Don't do that. Don't pretend like you're any better than me." "Hey. look at me." she put a hand on his cheek and forced him to look her in the eyes. "That is not what I am tr...
