Teasing Your Wicked Heart

CHAPTER 32

As Sarah Jane waited for her ire to extinguish itself, her hands found themselves wringing in tight bounds against her thick skirts.

She was dressed so heavily tonight, so elegantly that it seemed so wrong to have been faced with this situation this evening. She was so out of place, so furious, but her hair was still ethereal. So much in pain, and yet the little flowers embroidered on her dress were dancing in joy.

She wanted to leave that blasted place, she needed to breathe and to get away from him just to avoid the pain of his crushing betrayal.

And his rejection.

Anthony made her feel loved and cherished one day, and then took a married lady shopping, and god knows what else, on the very next. She wanted to cry, her heart was broken and she vowed never to love another man this way. Never in this lifetime, never in the next.

He stole her heart, made it ache with pleasure as it bloomed and enlarged to accept him. But he had tired of her, disposed of her love, and crushed her heart and spirit with his bare hands.

Mr. Collins remained quiet in front of her. He wasn't very good with words of comfort. His profession as a solicitor had made him a straightforward man. He said what he meant, and he said it clearly. Upset females, such as she, had never found comfort with what he had to say. Doesn't matter if it was only his true opinion.

She sniffed, wetness finally pooling around her eyes, blurring her vision. These were the tears she had been waiting for, the tears that would help her reconcile herself to the situation. After the tears, her heart will repair itself, will pick up its pieces and stitch themselves back together.

She feared, however, that her heart will forever bear its holes, never quite becoming fully recovered.

Her dashing Lord Killsworth had been every bit of her hero until today.

He had known that he was not to inherit the Rosenberg title, and yet he kept her, granted her wish of a Season and even arranged for the very best of sponsors who knew exactly where they stood in society.

Anthony gave her a glimpse of what happiness felt like. He made her safe and secure, and finally so un-alone. He shared his secrets with her as she told him about her greatest fears, and still, he didn't want her enough.

That infernal arrangement of their intoxicated fathers should never have been made in the first place.

Anthony found the idea of marrying her so repulsive that he kept her in the dark about the contract. Instead, he distracted her with glittering parties and stolen kisses, which had allowed her to believe and expect and hope.

Anthony had to dispose of her so badly that he made sure to design her marriage prospects himself. It would have been a bloody good plan if she hadn't been so in love with him.

And the fool that she was, she had conveniently provided him the best excuse by asking for a Season herself.

Didn't anyone warn her to be careful of what she wished for?

"My lady," Mr. Collins began as Sarah Jane wiped her tears from her face. "We need to go back. In our haste, we had left your guardians and your baggage."

Seeing that she will not be replying to him anytime soon, he rapped on the roof to tell the coachman to circle back.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

Yes, granted, she was such in a hurry to leave all kinds of baggage that she really hadn't thought about whisking to Yorkshire for good. She just wanted to get away for a while, to have some room to breathe and think.