i love you too f.w

dieciséis

Flashback
One year after getting married

"Y/N, I-I'm sorry."

"Why?" I asked, turning away from the cutting board. He looked disappointed.

"I drank." He pulled out a small Hennessy bottle from his jacket pocket.

I looked at the bottle and back at him.

"I thought that I could just have a sip and I'd be fine, that it would kill the craving. I thought I could handle it. I'm so sorry." He began to tear up.

"Finn," I walked over to him and hugged him.

"I thought I could handle it Y/N, I'm so sorry," he cried.

"Baby, it's okay," I pulled out of the hug and wiped his tears.

Seeing him like this broke my heart. He'd worked so hard to stay sober and I knew how bad he wanted to stay clean but I also knew how hard this was for him.

Finn was always a little too hard on himself when it came to his recovery. He'd get upset when he wanted a drink if always tell him that it's normal for his body to miss a habits it's gotten used to for so long.

"No, it's not. You've been putting up with me and my shit for so long. You deserve so much better than me. You deserve better than a fucking alcoholic. I'm a mess. I don't deserve you." He sobbed.

"Finn, don't say that, that's not true-"

"Yes it is. Look at me. It's been ten fucking years and I still can't get my shit together. I've had a drinking problem since I was fifteen. I'm twenty five, look at me. I'm still in the same place I was before. I'm trying for you, for our kids some day. I want to be better for you." He held me.

Hearing Finn think he wasn't good enough for me hurt. He was the most amazing person I'd ever met. He was everything I ever wanted in a person. It never really bothered me that he had a drinking problem because I knew he's always tried to fix it. I wanted to help him through this.

"Finn, I love you so much. You're the sweetest, most caring and accepting person I've ever met. You're everything I've ever wanted in a husband. You have no idea how amazing you are-"

"I'm a fucking alcoholic Y/N." He sobbed.

"But you're trying to change that. You want to be better. That's a good thing and I'm so proud of you for wanting that for yourself. You haven't drank it months Finn, thats a step forward. You slipped up and that's okay. Relapsing is a part of recovery. I know this is hard for you. You came and told me and we can figure this out together. It's going to be hard to quit but I believe in you." I grabbed his face in my hands, wiping his tears with my thumbs.

He gave me a weak smile.

I kissed him.

"Take a shower, I'll fix you something to eat in the meantime." I told him. He nodded.

He walked off and went into the bathroom.

I went back to the cutting board and kept cutting the melon.

I took out a frozen chicken bake and heated it up. I set it on a plate and but a bowl of melon next to it. I poured some apple juice and water into two cups. I walked everything to our room, took some clothes out for him and waited for him to come out.

Ten minutes later he came out in a towel.

I handed him the clothes, he smiled at me, talking them back in the bathroom and changing into them.

He came out and sat on the bed. I handed him the food.

He sat there and ate everything.

He laid down, putting his head on my lap. I played with his hair for hours.

"Let's get to bed." I wrapped my finger around his curl. He nodded and laid in his side.

He turned to me.

"Thank you Y/N, for everything, I love you." He smiled.

"I love you too." I kissed his cheek.

okay so, i know A LOT of you guys aren't too fond of Finn in this book rn, understandably. he's kinda a gaping asshole. but i wrote this to show you guys that hes, ig relapsed before and felt really bad and that he genuinely wants to be better, he just felt that he couldn't go to y/n at that point so he kinda just spun out of control.

but yea this is what this chapter is.

OMG I LOOKED THROUGH THE FIRST BOOK AND ITS SO BAD💀 THERES SO MANY MISTAKES AND YOU GUYS CLOWN ON ME FOR THEM💀 ITS SO POORLY WRITTEN BITCH I CANNOT GET OVER THE MISTAKES. ive been meaning to go back and fix some things so that i don't cringe everytime i look at the cover. i litterally wanna punch myself in the titty over how cringe that book and its mistakes are. I CANNOT, NO PUEDO

anyways, how was your New Years ?