The life of Sophie and Fitz

Chapter 43

Sophie's POV
Fitz looked worse. Bad. And it pained me to even think that the movie star smile golden boy would be described as anything other than amazing, but he definitely didn't look that great. His eyes were barely even teal, they looked dimmed and saddened. It made me feel even worse about what I had done with Keefe. Let me tell you it was so hard to not break down crying right there.

"Okay." Said Juliette nudging past me and over to Fitz. A ping of jealously struck me but I knew it was for Fitz overall health so I let it go.

"First, I'm going to just have a question and analysis type procedure, and you have to answer completely honestly. If you don't feel comfortable telling the whole group in here, you can do that weird teleporting thingy to me and I won't tell anyone. But this is critical for you to get better, so you have to do it okay?"

Fitz looked super uncomfortable and not like he wanted to share any thoughts with anyone, but he nodded his head and shifted himself into a comfortable situation.

"What's the thing that makes you the happiest in the world?" Juliette said

"My friends and family. Connections to people, how they interact with me." He said happily.

"Okay, and what about objects? Ideas? Anything that makes you happy?"

"Well," Fitz said thinking. "I love nature and being in touch with it."

Keefe laughed and then stopped when he realized he wasn't helping.

"I'm sorry about him, he's on a serum." Elwin said. "To keep his mood level up."

"Oh" Fitz said, playing with his blanket.

"That upsets you?" Said Juliette, suddenly very interested.

"Yes." Fitz sighed.

"Why?"

"Why is this even relevant?" Fitz asked, obviously hiding something.

"Because I say it is." Said juliette compassionately. "I need you to answer."

"Because I don't like seeing him sad okay? He's my best friend, and it's hard to see him like that."

Keefe went silent and almost as white as a sheet.

"That's understandable." Said Juliette with a sad smile. "I've known him for only a couple days and I hate to see him sad too. It's hard for me when anyone is sad really, I try to make sure everyone around me is as happy as they can be."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Fitz nod in approval to what she said.

"Is that part of the reason why you're upset?" Juliette asked kindly.

"I don't want to talk about it." Fitz said, which was obviously a yes.

"Okay, I know it's hard with everyone here. Do you want them to leave?" Said juliette eagerly.

"Yes." Fitz said, not making eye contact with anyone, just staring down at his blanket.

"Okay, then I'll have everyone leave." She said turning to face us all.

Can I stay? I transmitted your Fitz

Sophie- I can't. Okay, I just can't. I'm sorry

Yeah okay yeah that's fine. I said leaving first before everyone, upset with myself. I knew he wanted privacy and I owed him that, but everything just felt unfair right now. There was nothing I could do to help anyone, and I didn't realize how hard it was for the attention not to be on me. I know it sounds conceded, but when the attention was on me I was in control, and I knew no one could get hurt because I was fine with whatever bad things happened to me, but now I was worried about Fitz. What could happen, that he was in pain, he was hurting. I couldn't do anything about it. I had no control at all.

"Foster?" Said Keefe running up behind me trying to catch up. "Look, I know everything is overwhelming and Fitz wants to keep his secrets to himself, but what if I told you I had an uber smart plan that made us listen to everything Fitz says."

"What?" I asked questionable

"Well, Dex made a connection device to record everything said in that room, so anything Fitz says out loud we can hear. All we have to do is sit in Fitz room to hear everything."

"But he wants it to be private." I said thinking out loud. "And we don't want to break his trust."

"I know Sophie, I know." He said putting his hands on my shoulder. "But Fitz is in really bad condition." Keefe said saddened even in his hyped up state. "Juliette told me that he's really really bad. And if we don't do something to help him fast, things could get even worse."

I sighed still debating.

"He won't know." Keefe said pulling me closer. "The only ones that will get any information is me, you, Biana, and Dex. And we can help him. I mean really help him. I know juliette knows what she's doing and how to help him, but she's only from the human world. There are a bunch of things about Elves that she doesn't know."

"You're right." I said shrugging with a sigh. "This will help him, and we need to do it.

"Okay!" Said Keefe jumping. "I'll get everyone and let's gather in Fitz's room." He said running away jumping.

As I entered his room the only thing I could think of was how he was the most important thing to me in the world. Tears ran down my cheeks as I thought about what would happen if he wasn't in my life, and I couldn't even dare to think about it. I neared his desk sleeping area and browsed his books and journals. They had scribbles and dates next to them, all venturing from years ago to this week. I knew touching them wasn't a good idea, and I almost walked away, until I saw my name in the pages of a blue bound book. I tried to look away, but I had to read through.

Dear Diary,
I went on another run today for an hour, I couldn't sleep per usual. Ever since I got traded out with Sophie for the powers, my telepathy has gotten stronger. It's too much to handle, I don't know how she does it. She's too strong for anything, for any of us. Maybe that's why I love her so much. I accidentally read her thoughts last night, they were just so loud and I couldn't help but listen. It has something to do with Alvar and Keefe, which I know is none of my business but it just hurts that she won't tell me anything. Especially if Keefe is involved. I hate that I'm jealous about them, I know Sophie isn't in love with Keefe, but I also know he's had a crush on her since the day of the splotching match when she beat me. Then again, I knew the second I laid eyes on her, I could love her forever. And for some reason, I keep screwing it up. I mean, one disagreement happens between us  and I spiral out of control. Loving her means putting myself to the best of my ability, but it also makes me so weak and easily breakable. It's worth it though. I can't imagine what I would do without her. I'm glad she doesn't know about all the girls I've been with so she doesn't get jealous, I mean she's gotta know I've been with girls before we started making ourselves official, right?

At that point, my heart was beating so fast. Other girls? I mean sure, Fitz definitely has been with other girls because I mean have you seen him? But I never really thought about it. I didn't even read the end of the letter because now I needed to find a list or something about the girls he has been with.

It took me a while to search and I knew I was invading his privacy, but I had to see. There were maybe 5 girls on his list, which was a big amount but not too huge, and I didn't really care until I saw the order of the list, his first to last kiss, in order of when the first kiss was. My name wasn't last. But Stina's was.