Never Let Go

Chapter 12

"Kara? Kara!" I felt someone shaking me. I slowly opened my eyes, confused by the aggression. I was annoyed, it was the best sleep I had in the past 3 months, and someone was waking me up from it. I looked up at who had woken me. It was Mon-el.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him getting up. He leaned back and allowed space to reenter between us. He sat on my coffee table, similar to how he had before.

I pushed that out of mind and realized I was unusually thirsty. I went over to the fridge and Mon-el got up and followed.

"I thought- I thought." He stuttered and stood in my step. He honestly hadn't really done much wrong, but it was first sleep I've had in so long. I was grouchy.

"You thought what?!" I yelled at him still annoyed. I tried to calm myself, but then a thought entered my mind. I realized that I wasn't mad at him for waking me. I was mad about everything else.

"I thought you weren't breathing... I'm sorry." He wondered off obviously still wanting to say more.

"It's fine." I said grabbing a bottle of water. I didn't want to fight with him, honestly.

"Kara, I wanted to talk to you." I shrugged at what he said. I didn't want to talk, not about anything he was about to say. I sat back down on the couch as he sat across from me. He sat there waiting for me to say something. "I want to explain." He said looking at his feet then me. I stared at my feet seconds after our eyes interlocked. "Imra feels bad. She thinks that she stepped into something."

"She shouldn't." I shrugged again, still not meeting his gaze, "She's kind and smart and she looks like a Greek goddess. I can't find a reason to hate her," I finally looked up at him. Our eyes connected and it felt like old times. "but am I okay with this? No." I said bluntly. These words hurt Mon-el, I could tell. He eyes showed pain and he looked straight into my blue eyes as if he could find an answer to how I felt.

"Kara-"

"No, Mon-el, stop. I see this very clearly, now. I shouldn't have expected that since you came back you wouldn't had moved on." I paused not sure if I should continue, but I decided I wanted to show my strength and also my pain. "Did you just forget about me?" I said holding back tears. He took a deep breath but remains silent. Growing angrier I continue, "How could you have changed so much, it's only been 3 months-"

"No, it's 13 years!" He said frustrated as he stared at me. I was taken back from his tone and how much time it was for him.

I feel tears well up in my eyes. I automatically feel awful for feeling bad for myself who was able to stay here with my friends, while he had to go somewhere with no one he knew. How could I be so selfish?