The Healing Sunshine (一厘米的阳光)

Chapter 14.1 - A Song of Brief Parting (1)

Merely sooner or later.

But reasoning and emotions are always in conflict. This feeling is very subtle and somewhat wearing on a person.

"I'm sorry, Xixi." His voice had been repressed within his throat for too long, to the extent that it was slightly hoarse.

Husky, doting, and also tender.

Thump, thump. Jǐ Yi's heart was hammering, and she fixed her eyes on him.

What would he say? "That was actually just a moment of rashness from me just now"? ...

"I was a little rash just now." It was as if Jì Chengyang could actually read minds, repeating what Jǐ Yi had been praying against in her heart, that answer that she most did not hope to hear. Jǐ Yi did not dare to say anything. Tears were already rippling in her eyes, and she could sense they were about to brim over. She dared not blink, for the instant she did, her tears would definitely course down. And so, she only said softly, "I know."

From her expression, Jì Chengyang knew already that she had misunderstood his meaning. He set free that feeling that had been suppressed in his chest this entire time, exhaling out a light sigh. And then, he loosened his hold on one of Jǐ Yi's shoulders.

Pulling off his glasses, he faced her with his truest countenance. "I said 'rash' because you are too young. I want to wait until you are mature enough, to wait until you truly know what sort of relationship it is that you want before I let you face these things."

Perhaps what suited her was that age group of young people who were teeming with life and vigor.

By the time she was the age of twenty, he would nearly be thirty and would have seen too much life and death, would have a heart that had long grown old and seemed an age beyond forty. And she, at just twenty years old... would be the same age as he had been when he saw her the second time and brought her for her onstage dance performance.

Twenty-year-old Jì Chengyang had only just begun his life. He had had too many ideas and could give up too many unimportant, insignificant things.

A few years from now, when Jǐ Yi was twenty years old, she would certainly be the same.

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"Let's make a pact." The final bit of levelheadedness in Jį Chengyang bound him tightly. He could not let his own views as a grown adult on love and relationships shackle down Jǐ Yi. "Two years from now, if you truly are willing to accept me, I absolutely will take responsibility for my actions a moment ago."

Jǐ Yi stared disbelievingly at him.

A fire began to burn from the bottom of her heart, causing her blood to boil and churn.

"Is it because... you need to take responsibility for what you did?" Jǐ Yi was hung up on the literal meaning of those last few words.

"No, don't misconstrue my meaning," he chuckled.

For once showing the temper typical of young girls, Jǐ Yi, her voice still carrying a heavy nasal tone to it, continued to be vexed by his wording. "Is it only because just now, you... um... and that's why you're saying this?" She wanted to ask him, just like how those female leads in television dramas would press the issue, was it only because he had kissed her in a moment of rashness that he said he would take responsibility?

Or is it because... you like me, too?

But how could she possibly make the words come out from her mouth? Before she stepped through this door, even thinking about this question had been done only in the deep night hours with her covers pulled over her head. Each conversation they had had, each time they had held hands, and also each embrace between Jì Chengyang and her had always had its own reason for occurring, such that that she dared not read too much into things. This was because they had known each other too early in their lives. He was her Little Uncle Jì.