The Healing Sunshine (一厘米的阳光)

Chapter 5.2 - You are by My Side (2)

Jì Chengyang nodded.

Jǐ Yi, however, felt that she had actually added troubles to others.

Prior to leaving the study, she thought for a moment, then said to them, "Don't tell Nuannuan."

Jì Chengyang and Nuannuan's mother both looked at her. Rather awkwardly, she explained, "I'm worried she'll get scared."

This was the friendship she and Nuannuan shared. Jǐ Yi would feel bad that she had added troubles onto Nuannuan, while Nuannuan would also feel guilty that she had left early, leaving Jǐ Yi to face those dangers alone...

After Jǐ Yi departed from the room, Jì Chengyang dwelled upon those words she had just said. He opened his mouth to speak, but then hesitated.

"You want to ask why Xixi is so mature and considerate?" Nuannuan's mother was able to guess what he was thinking. "If we were to explain it, it's actually quite complicated. Her dad and mom were part of the 'up to the mountains, down to the countryside' group that was sent to rural areas to work and live. Her mom married her dad in order to be able to return to the city again, and there really were no feelings or love between them. We had all thought that they would separate eventually, but for some reason, her mom became pregnant with Xixi and actually had her."

"Mm. And then?"

"They took care of the birthing part but not the raising part." Nuannuan's mother sighed, "So, Xixi's grandfather, her father's father, brought her back with him. The problem is, Xixi's dad is the only one in the family who doesn't wear a military uniform, so the father-son relationship he has with Xixi's grandfather is really bad. Supposedly, Xixi's grandfather is only fulfilling a moral obligation and will just raise her. It's impossible for him to truly put care and heart into looking after her."

He was not certain why, but the memory came up in Jì Chengyang's mind of her when she was little, working out how she should take her medicines. She had so casually stuffed those anti-inflammatory and fever medicines by the handful into her mouth, just so that she would get well quicker and not feel sick and uncomfortable anymore.

Nuannuan's mother was a very sensitive and emotional person, and as they spoke about these things, her eyes had reddened slightly. "You haven't had much interaction with her. That child truly is especially good and mature. Back then, we weren't living in apartment buildings yet, and when she was four or five years old, she would already be out alone in the yard, waving the fan and brewing Chinese medicinal herbs for herself. She'd hold a watch to keep track of the time, and when it was done, she would bring the pot down, pour the medicine out, and then wait for it to cool down before drinking it herself." Nuannuan's mother gave a pained smile. "I've even seen her taking scissors and cutting her exam papers as well as essays that were printed in the newspaper. And then, she took those one-hundred-percent grades of hers and also those essays and pasted them into a notebook to give to her mom as a birthday present."

... As Jì Chengyang listened to this, all he could feel was an ache in his heart. Mechanically, he reached for his cigarette pack but discovered that he had left it at the hospital.

"I was worried she would go astray during those rebellious ages, so I asked her once whether she was mad at her dad and mom. She told me, though, 'Auntie, I'm already especially blessed. Back in the days before jianguo [founding of the PRC in 1949], Grandfather was barefooted when he was admitted into university. In middle school, when he didn't have tuition money, he even needed to walk for one whole day and night in order to go home and get the money needed for tuition...'" Nuannuan's mother sighed. "You say, if you're going to look at it that way, then all the children in China are much more blessed than the ones in Africa. But the key point is, you can't compare things that way..."