I am not suppose to feel like this

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Kylies pov

I am not suppose to feel like this. These feelings are not normal yet she is sleeping on my ground and that is enough to drive me insane. She's my sisters best friend I can't fall for her. She probably doesn't even feel the same way like why would she?

She is the leader of the cheerleaders and she is honestly one of the most popular girls I know. I watched her grow up and she watched me grow up. We are practically sisters yet when she looks at me I get butterflies. She is a sweetheart that always cares for me but I think it's more in a sister caring way than anything else. I groan and bury my head in my pillow trying to block away any thoughts of her.

My heart would still race anytime she would shift in the bed we made for her. She's two years older than me which isn't bad I mean she is 18 and I'm 16. It's not that much of a gap but I wouldn't be able to be with her due to my family being very religious and well they would never accept me if I started dating Lexi and again she won't fall for me.

Even if she did have an attraction to me it would mainly be a sexual attraction due to her being the dirty one of the group whatever that means. Not that I know if she had done anything but my sister always said she has and I sort of see it when she says dirty jokes in front of me, I always feel very weird when she says them. Almost turned on. Holy crap I can't be having those type of thoughts about her.

"Kylie?" My heart stopped hearing her voice.
"Kylie are you up?" I swallow hard. Just speak for crying out loud. Speak!
"Y-e-s" I hate my life.
"Can't you sleep either?" I sit up and look down on the floor when I met those beautiful mixed hazel eyes.
"Nope" I say swallowing again as I get lost in her eyes. She smirks at me like she always does and my heart starts to sped up.

"Have you ever had sex with someone?" I say blurting it out without thinking. I look away from her my face was probably red as a tomato, luckily the dark hid my cheeks. She laughs.
"What?" I look back at her and see that she had sat up completely.
"I ah...I didn't mean to say that" I bury my hands in my face when I feel the bed shift.

I slowly remove my hands and see that Lexi is now sitting on my bed not very far away from me.
"It's okay"she says smiling sweetly at me.
"Sorry" I say under my breath looking away from her.
"No I haven't" I look back at her and end up staring at her eyes.
"You haven't what?" She laughs again and I suddenly feel very shy.

"I haven't had sex with anyone" I don't know what to say I always thought she might of but I guess it was just rumors. I can't help but feel happy that she hadn't done it.
"I have done stuff but I haven't actually had sex"
"What kind of stuff?" Why can't I just close my mouth. I want to slap myself but looking at Lexi's face she didn't seem to mind me asking.

"Why don't I show you?" She leans in close to me and I suck in my breath. Her face was close to mine before she started laughing.
"I'm just joking but your face though" I look away and smile.
"I've sextexted someone I don't know if that counts as sex" she laughs her adorable laugh.

I shake my head and tuck a hair behind my ear.
"I've also...wait no I don't think I should tell you that" she looks down a blush on her face. My heart started racing.
"Why not?" She looks back at my eyes.
"Cause it's kinda weird and I just don't know. Should I trust you to keep a secret?" I smile.
"You can trust me I won't tell anyone"
"You promise?" She holds out her pinky and I laugh taking it.

"Ok I've touched myself" my whole body woke up to that. Holy shit that wasn't weird at all, it's kinda hot. Her touching herself was enough to make me shiver.
"That's not bad" I say my throat suddenly getting dry. She smiles softly and nods.
"Don't tell anyone" I nod my head.
"I'm not going to tell anyone" we sit in silence for a moment before she lays down on the bed by my feet.

"Have you done anything else?"
"I've made out with people and they have kissed down my body but I haven't you know, done it" I nod my head.
"We're they all girls, who've you made out with?" She smirks.
"Girls for life" she laughs and I laugh with her. I look down.
"How did you know you only liked girls?" She sighs.

"I started noticing details about girls. Seeing them gave me butterflies in my stomach. When I looked at girls I didn't want to be like them, you know like pretty" I laugh and nod my head.
"I thought damn I want to be with them" I giggled.
"Everything about girls pulled me in and I haven't been able to pull away. I fell in love" I smile at her.
"Are you happy?" She turns to me getting up.
"What?"

"Are you happy?"
"I am so happy, I get to be myself something I haven't been able to do in a very long time even though I did come out two years ago" a huge grin was on her face and that's how I knew she meant it.
"Hey since you got to ask me things, have you had sex before?"
"Oh heavens no, there hasn't been anyone I wanted to do it with. Has there been anyone you wanted to do it with?"

"No no you don't get to ask me more questions, you already got to ask your questions" I sigh and laugh. Lexi yawns.
"K I would love to continue talking to you but I'm now getting tired" I nod my head.
"Oh okay, thanks for talking to me" I really should shut up.
"K I always love talking to you" she puts her hand on my thigh even though I was under the blanket. I wanted her hand on my real thigh, I wanted to feel her warm hand.

"Okay night" I say laying down and turning over. Lexi giggles before I feel the bed shift. I don't look at her until she is laying on the ground. She turns over as I continue to stare at her. I eventually fall asleep my mind still on her beautiful mixed hazel eyes.

**********

"Kylie!" I snap out of my gaze and look away from Lexi who was busy sitting with her friends, my sister included.
"Sorry what?" I say turning to look at my best friend.
"Who are you going to go to the dance with?" I haven't really thought about the dance I mean it is at the end of the year.
"No one " Megan shakes her head.

"Come on Kylie there must be some boy that you have a crush on?" I look away. I don't have any boy crushes.
"I know there's someone Kylie" Megan nudges me with her elbow.
"Who are you going with?" I say trying to get the attention on her.
"Oh you know Charlie?" It worked.
"Yeah I know him, he is a sweet guy" she nods her head in pure bliss.

"He asked me yesterday came to my house even" I smile.
"I did try and phone you but you didn't answer"
"Oh I'm sorry, my sisters friends came over"
"Did Lexi come over?" my heart started racing at her name. I clear my throat.
"Of course she came over she's been my sisters best friend since the beginning" Megan rolls her eyes.

"Lexi use to be pretty but now look at her" she points to Lexi and when I follow her finger Lexi looks at me. Her smile was still on her face but she raised one eyebrow in confusion. I immediately put my hand on Megan's arm and pull it down. Megan just giggles.
"Did she see that?" Megan says and I look back at Lexi but she was looking away.

"Yeah she did"
"Oops" she giggles again.
"As I was saying, Lexi was pretty before but now she is absolutely stunning" I smile looking back at Lexi.
"Yeah she is"
"She's only into girls right?"
"Yep" she both fall silence.

"I heard she once fingered someone in the bathroom" I turn to her.
"What no, Megan shut up!"

My sisters best friend (PART ONE) Where stories live. Discover now