Shut Up (Boy×Boy)

Chapter Nineteen - Guy

"What's with the glasses?" I ask.

"I thought they'd make me look more professional."

"Um... okay."

"You're probably wondering why I called you here."

"Yep," I say before taking a sip of my water.

"You're having boy problems."

I have to stop myself from spitting out my water, "I'm having what now?"

"Don't act like you haven't noticed it too. You and James have been spending a lot less time together."

"Yeah, we have."

"It's okay, I'm going to help you through this. You should lay down."

"The last time I went to a therapist I wasn't asked to lay down."

"You've been to therapy?"

"Yeah, after my mum died."

Tessa nods. I think she's hoping I'll keep talking, so I do.

"Her name was Jody. She always insisted I call her by her first name. She was such a kind woman, to be honest I miss seeing her. It was her idea for Spencer and I to move here. It wasn't doing us any good to still be living in that house, in that city."

"You really like it here don't you?"

"Of course I do. It was a rocky start with Spencer and his job. I wasn't sure how my first day at school would go too, I thought I wouldn't make any friends but I did. I'll never forget that day when James approached me at the picnic tables."

"That was so cute, he was so nervous about talking to you."

I smile, "He was. All of you were so kind and welcoming. I don't think any of you will ever know how much that meant to me, how much you all still mean to me."

"You mean a lot to us too, I don't think any of us will forget that day either."

I means so much to me to hear her say that. I've always viewed it as them taking me in, I never considered that I was helping them too. I care about my friends so much...

"I don't want to leave you all. I don't want to leave this place."

"I know you don't, but your future is in America."

"Is it? What about my future here?"

I feel a tear roll down my cheek, "What about James? I love him so much. He doesn't even know. I couldn't bring myself to tell him because I don't want to make it harder on us when I leave."

"Hey, come here," Tessa says, holding out her arms for a hug.

I accept it without any hesitation. Tessa always seems to have a way of making anyone feel better. I know she's about to tell me something important.  

"There's this quote," she begins, "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were."

I feel more tears roll down my cheeks. I know she's right, but I also know that I'm going to miss James so much. I don't know how I'll get through this.

Tessa leans back from our hug, her hands still firmly gripping my shoulders.

"I want you to do something for me," she says.

"Yeah?" I mumble, wiping my tears on my sleeve.

"I want you to go and see James. I want you to spend as much time with him as you can, before it's too late."

I nod, "Thank you, I will."

-----------------------------------

When I knock on the door James's dad answers. It's a pleasant surprise, usually he's out of the house whenever I come over. 

"Hey Guy."

"Hi Mr Day, is James home?"

"Yeah, he's in his room," he says before calling out, "James, your boyfriend is here!"

I hear a groan from inside the house, "Dad!"

I can tell he's embarrassed, it's adorable.

"You should probably come inside, he's been hovered over his laptop all afternoon, I doubt he'll be stopping any time soon. How are you anyway?"

I follow him into the house and we both lean against the kitchen counter.

"I'm alright."

"Only alright?"

"Yeah, I guess there's still a lot of things I have to process."

"I still remember when June left for university," he says.

June is James's mothers name, I think I see where this story is heading.

James's father continues, "She's a year older than me, so I had to wait a year to see her again, I wasn't even sure if I would. I might have gotten into a different university."

"But you got into the same one?"

"I did. I was so happy to have her back. We got married four years later."

"And then you had James."

"Yep. Our little bundle of joy."

I can't help but smile. James always gets so embarrassed when his dad talks to me about his childhood, so he made sure to make a habit out of it.

"I miss those days."

I can see the sadness in his eyes when he talks about it. Him and his wife are divorced and his son is growing up. Things are changing and it's all way too fast.

"Enough about me, you should go and see James."

"Yes Sir."

I walk to James's room and knock on the door frame. He looks up and I can see that his eyes are bloodshot.

"Yeah?" he says in a way that it seems like it causes him pain to speak.

"You have spent way too much time in here."

"No I..."

"No excuses, we're going."

"Going where?"

"Wherever we want. We're going to spend some quality time together."

James lets out a chuckle, "You say that like we're an old married couple."

I can't help but hope that we can be one day. Even though it ended in divorce, his dad's story has given me hope that one day we might meet again. And so has the quote Tessa told me about.

And if not... I'm making the most of what we have left. No matter what.