With love - Short Stories (18+)

5. Unwanted (18+)

This story is based on a dream I had these days.

Thanks to Scarlet_Night_Sky for helping me out with putting it into words. ♥

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I sat on the wet grass and watched from a distance as the guys finished their soccer game. I've always been one of the guys, but lately, and throughout the weekend, I'd felt like no one wanted me there. The girls had gone home. When I asked them if they could take my acoustic guitar back with them, they waved it off, as if it wasn't important. There wouldn't be space in the car. I guess their stuffed animals and clothes they had bought during our vacation were a bigger deal. In my desperation, I had the idea of asking the guys. I just told the girls to wait while I asked them if they could take my guitar with them. I was talking to Israel, the smartest one, when I saw the crammed car pulling out of the driveway. They just left me there.

"...and now I guess I have no choice," I added, chest feeling heavy.

They exchanged looks, most of them with my ex, Jeremy. Our eyes met for a split second, and my heart jumped. Israel didn't seem fazed, but he never seemed anything. He scratched his wise, stubbled chin and came up with a simple enough solution: the guitar would go in one car, and one of them would ride with me in my bike. We'd be leaving the next day when there would be more sunlight and hopefully less rain. I tried to ignore how they fought not to be the one stuck with me.

I followed them around the field with my eyes, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was thinking about my life choices. Dating a close friend had definitely been a bad one. Choosing friends poorly was another. They had clearly picked sides. I decided this would be the last time I hung out with them. They didn't want me around anyway, just tolerated me because they didn't want to admit that the group was broken. Well, it wasn't. The group was still solid, safe for one unwanted member: me.

Thankfully, someone sat by my side and distracted me before the tears could start rolling. "Aren't you gonna play?"

The voice startled me. It belonged to him. "No, not really."

"You always play," he said.

"I know you guys don't want me here. I'm not imposing my presence on you anymore. I swear if it wasn't for the rain, I'd just put the guitar on my back and ride home by myself, same way I got here."

"It's okay... I know."

"I'm sorry."

His silence told me that he knew I wasn't just talking about this right now. He knew I meant everything, the way things had ended between us. Hell! I was sorry for even having started all this in the first place. I should have stayed away from him the minute I realized I was attracted to him. But when I set my mind to something, I just had to have that, and he had been no exception.

"I'll ride with you tomorrow," he said.

I finally snapped my head at him and immediately regretted it. His brown silky hair was drenched from the rain now, one long strand tuck behind his ear, so his chiseled face was in full view to me. Lazy drops of rain dragged along his lean body, catching my eye, inviting me to stare lower and lower through his shirtless abs. I'd always wondered if he would go for another spin with me just for the fun of it, but I never had the guts to ask. I knew he would say no, that he knew better than to make the same mistake again.

I averted my eyes back to the field. "You don't have to come with me."

"It's okay. You're right, they don't want your company, but I guess you're my problem because of the mass we created."