I Am Black

Chapter 37: Tables Turn

My eyes darted around for the nearest escape route. "What do you want?" I said, already knowing what he wanted. He wanted trouble, he wanted to see me suffer, he wanted to see me beg, he wanted to see me disintegrate into nothing, he wanted to see me broken.

"What do you think I want?" He spoke softly, taking two steps closer and I took three steps back. When he noticed this he clicked his tongue with his eyes boring into mine.

"How do you want me to know?" I walked back again when he stepped forward. Amusement flickered through his face but his eyes held anything but. He was a devil and he acted well like one. He bobbed his head and smiled, to me, his teeth looked razor sharp capable of tearing human flesh. He looked ready to devour me with hungry eyes.

"You know, I missed you." He suddenly said. "I missed my little Kitten and all the games we used to play. I haven't been seeing you and I even thought you've finally left the school."

I ignored what he said about missing me,"you can pretend I'm not even in the school shey you know? Since you hardly see me I can stay clear and stay out your way, we could —"

"You shouldn't worry yourself over that," he cut me off, "because as long as you're in that school, you're always in my way."

Spit gathered in my mouth and I gulped. "B-but why can't you guys just leave me alone?I–I promise to stay out of your way, I–"

He rolled his eyes,"will you stop it. This is no fun." I just looked at him. Was this a game to him? Here I was, scared out of my wits and he found this fun??my mouth hung open. A look of utter disbelief plastered itself on my face. I was living a life of sadness and fear in this foreign place, fighting day and night to keep my emotions in check, putting on a brave face and walking to school every morning with paranoia that someone was out to get me and he found it funny? I have had issues with my studies, my inability to concentrate was because everything happening in school was taking a toll on me and he found it funny? I had been holding my cracking pieces together, not letting them know that I was silently breaking and he found it funny?!

I was seething. Every core in my frail body was shaking. My nails dug into my palms, hurting me but that pain could never compare to what I've felt for years. Brandon smiled, seeing that my body was shaking. I was so angry at everything I had been through. Every time I let people walk over me all in the name of peace, every time I kept quiet when someone made fun of me thinking they'd out grow it, for every damned time that I put up with nonsense because I was always optimistic. But no more. I couldn't handle it any more. I was cracking and I was afraid I didn't have any more duct tape to put me back in place.

"You find this funny?" The voice that spoke sounded nothing like mine. It was on the verge of cracking. So many emotions were slamming into me at once. Regret, sadness, anger, tiredness, worthlessness... It was so bad."you find all of this...funny?"

He was quiet, just staring at me. It was clear on his face that he was not expecting this from me. Tears gathered in my eyes just thinking about my secondary school days. Brandon didn't understand, it was clear he didn't. He was just a stupid inconsiderate bully. "I have had it! I'm tired! I can't take it anymore," I started screaming.

I was put on the edge, feeling like I was about to loose my mind," I can't go on like this, why, why don't you just kill me?" I looked at him hopefully.

His lips were set on a thin line, his eyebrows furrowed. He held an unfamiliar expression on his face that I was unable to identify. I couldn't recognize anything at the moment, not even my own voice. I wasn't the suicidal type. I never once thought of suicide but now the thought was so appealing and I didn't know why I hadn't thought of it before. "You can just end it and I'll be out of your way, maybe then I'll stop being a burden to everybody."