Bleed for the Camera

Epilogue

        "So, what do you think we can work on to better make changes?"

        "I don't know. I thought you'd tell me."

        Dr. Deborah smiled a strange little tight-lipped smile. "I can't tell you what to do Evie. I'm here to help you figure out ways to go forward."

        "How much am I paying you again?"

        She gave me a mercy laugh; her short coiled hair bobbing. "There's that sense of humor again. I notice you use humor to deflect when you're feeling uncomfortable."

        "Everyone likes a funnyman."

        "Are you concerned about being liked?"

        "Isn't everyone?"

        A little over a month after Peter turned himself in Chelsea was able to get most charges against him dropped. A simple DNA test proved he was Derek's father. She argued that since he had never waived his parental rights, Peter was still Derek's father by law and therefore the kidnapping charge should be dismissed. I don't know how that witch did it, but a jury bought it and Peter got off with nothing but probation and about thirty-five combined days in jail.

        "Yes," Dr. Deborah adjusted her glasses. "But if a simple question makes you feel this way maybe that's something we should work on."

        I sighed. "I guess what I really want is for things to be the way they were before."

        "How was it before?"

        "Easy. Well, easier I should say." I absently strummed my fingers on the arm of her leather chair. "I wake up dreading another day. I walk around checking over my shoulder every five minutes. I hear a loud noise and I jump out of my skin. I never used to be like that."

        "So what's different is the way you feel?"

        "Ever since...the incident I've been afraid of my own shadow. I'm jumpy. I'm nervous. I think about that moment over and over again no matter how much I try to stop." Not to mention that time I pepper sprayed a man for talking aggressively. "I wasn't one of those people who was always looking for something, you know. I liked who I was! I was funny and charming and smart. I was a go-getter. Now it's like I can't get my feet on the ground. Like I'm always in traction."

        "Evie, you've experienced a trauma. No one expects you to bounce back in a day."

        "And what if I never bounce back?"

        She wrote some note in her clipboard then looked up at me. "We can't change the past. We have to take what comes."

         "Adapt or die."

         "Exactly."

        I'd taken Manny's advice to heart. In the weeks following our heart to heart I decided I was taking on a bit too much and it would be beneficial to me and the business for me to give myself an off day.

        "Mandatory staff meeting this afternoon." I'd told Pasha and Jackson. "All employees need to be there."

        At four pm that day all three of my employees—Pasha, Jackson, and Lana—were waiting for me to make my announcements.

        "Okay so I've made my decision on the new hire, but I have another announcement first. I'm creating a new position."

        "Another barista?" Lana picked at a loose thread on her jacket.