Shut Up (Boy×Boy)

Chapter Sixteen - James

"Truth or dare?"

Ava hesitated for a second, "Truth"

"How many ex's do you have?"

"Zero"

"For real?"

"Yep. I've flirted with a few girls in the past but it never went anywhere. The most experience I've had is with Amelia. You know, it was a while ago that I accepted that I'm a lesbian, yet I still can't get a girlfriend."

"You'll find someone," I said.

"I hope you're right."

"That would be okay if you told her that. She asked you what it meant to you and you always dodged the question. I'm sure she wouldn't have minded if you had been honest."

"Yeah, I fucked up, is that what you wanted to hear?"

"This isn't about me."

"Really? Then why did you insert yourself in this?"

"I'm looking out for Ava."

"How about I look out for James then?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Come on, don't act like you don't know what's going to happen when you leave."

"I don't even know if I'm leaving yet."

"But if you are? You're going to leave James like your dad left your mum."

"It's nothing like that."

"You sure? It seems pretty similar to me."

With that Amelia storms past me and exits the room.

I close the door behind her and make my way over to Guy.

"Don't listen to her. You know she didn't mean it, she's just upset."

I can see his lip quiver and I pull him into a hug.

"She's right though. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, James."

"I know that. It's not your fault. And like you said, we don't know what's going to happen. Let's just take it one day at a time, okay?"

"Okay."

I stand there and hold him for minutes after that. I don't let him go until he practically pries me off of him.

"Sorry," I say, "I got a bit carried away."

"Don't apologise, I was just having trouble breathing."

I let out a chuckle and he kisses me. Suddenly Guy's phone buzzes.

He takes a look, "How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

He shows me the notification, it says it's from me.

I'm confused, "I left my phone at home."

Guy opens the message and reads it aloud, "Tell James to meet me outside."

"It's my mum."

"How does she know where you are?"

My heart begins to beat faster, "She must have seen our messages... can I see that?"

Guy hands me his phone and I search the word 'party.'

I find a message from Guy sending me this address. I considered driving myself here before he offered to take me. This must be why my mum knows where I am, but that's not what I'm concerned about.

I scroll down from that message and see exactly what I was scared of:

Guy: I have 2 go b4 Spencer kills me haha, goodnight <3

Me: Goodnight <3

The hearts.

"Fuck," I mutter under my breath.

"What is it?"

I show him the message.

He doesn't seem to understand, so I spell it out for him, "My mum doesn't know that I'm gay. Well she didn't, I think she does now."

Guy takes his phone back from me, "You searched a word, she might have too. Chances are she didn't see those messages."

"How would she know what to search? I think she saw it."

I look down to see that my hands are shaking, I'm so terrified. I didn't want my mum to find out like this. I can't help but feel it won't go as well as it did with my dad.

Guy takes my hands in his, "I'll go with you. I'm sure you'll be fine."

"And if I'm not?"

I finally look into his eyes to see the same fear in them as I have in mine.

"We'll figure it out."

I take a large gulp and we head out of the room.

When we get to the car park my mum is waiting there, and she looks furious.

"James!" she exclaims, "What has gotten into you?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here."

"It's not just that. I saw the messages."

Shit.

She continues, "James, this isn't natural."

Suddenly I'm as furious as she is, "You don't know what you are talking about."

"I think I do. Don't worry, I'm sure this is just a phase you are going through."

I feel like I've been stabbed by her words and I can't help but fight back.

"A phase? You mean like your marriage?"

I can't believe I said that. I usually don't talk back to anyone, especially not my parents. I can't help but feel like it was justified though, and for some reason it felt good.

My mother looks shocked, "That's it, I'm taking you home."

She opens the car door before adding, "Say goodbye to your boyfriend, you won't be seeing him again."

I turn to Guy to see that like me, is holding back tears.

"Don't listen to her James, we'll work this out, okay?"

"Okay," I reply, not quite sure if I believe it.

I've never seen my mum react this way to anything before. I can tell she is dead serious.

"Goodbye," says Guy, a tear spilling down his cheek.

"Goodbye," I repeat, feeling a tear run down my face as well.

I get in the car and we drive off. I look back to see Guy still watching us.

I want to believe that everything will be okay. But right now I don't know what to believe.