Life with A.S.D (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Chapter One ~ Introduction

First things first, Autism is not caused by vaccines. That has been scientifically proven numerous times. Please do not fill my comment sections with anti-vaxx (anti vaccine)  propaganda. It's highly offensive and ignorant to say such things.

If you don't know exactly what ASD is, thats okay. I didn't fully understand it myself until I was diagnosed professionally at 14. ASD stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder. It's a developmental disorder that can effect communication, socialising, learning abilities and more.

People with ASD struggle to express emotions properly, but please remember that our emotions are perfectly fine. It's a common misconception that people with ASD have a lack of emotions or empathy, this is not the case at all. In fact, many people with ASD have too many emotions. This is important to remember as it's very offensive to people on the spectrum, myself included.

Now, ASD is a spectrum and you have all different kinds of people on said spectrum. You have 'High functioning' and 'Low functioning', for short I'll just say HF and LF. I am on the higher end of this spectrum, so a doctor would say I have 'High Functioning Autism'. This means I can look and act just like a neuotypical, or a 'normal person'. (People without ASD are know as neuotypicals or NT's).

But there is people who are on the lower end of this spectrum. Sometimes LF ASD people have lower IQ's, have repetitive behaviour that seems 'strange', hit themselves and more. I'm not saying some of that is not done by people higher up on the spectrum but if they do its much less noticeable and they can control it more.

ASD people find people difficult, extremely difficult in my experience. So often times we get overwhelmed by talking to NT's. You have to remember that this is not your fault unless you are actively trying to overwhelm us. If in your ignorance you accidentally set us off, thats okay. You learn from this. I'll explain further.

Meltdowns are common for me and so many other ASD people. It happens when we start feeling overwhelmed. The reasons change from each persons experience and how their ASD actually affects them. For example some ASD people find noise overwhelming whilst others wouldn't. If you want to know what sets a specific person with ASD off, ask them. Or observe them, but asking would be much more politer then staring at us until we have a meltdown.

For me, meltdowns occur once I've either had enough of people, things are going out of routine, plan changed or things moved out of their area. Now, this bit is difficult for most NT's to understand and thats okay. Meltdowns are extremely difficult to take in, especially when you see one in action. Just ask the person what they need and if they say to leave them be, then leave them be. Only the person with ASD knows fully what they like and what they dislike during a meltdown.

Let me give you an example using a very recent and real experience that I had:

Neruotyoical: Places toothbrush in their bathroom, someone else moves it, they don't notice. Simple.

Me: Places toothbrush in my wardrobe specifically on the left hand side with the brushing end facing up and pointed in the direction of my door, someone moves it, I notice and immediately interrogate everyone in the house, starts crying, starts hitting my wrists off my forehead, falls to floor. Not simple.

Keep in mind, that this meltdown was bound to happen. I had a routine change and wasn't mentally prepared for it as I wasn't told it was going to happen. I also had a rough day in school that day so when I saw that my toothbrush wasn't in the right place I immediately had a meltdown. Meltdowns don't just occur, they build up over time. ASD people can hold in meltdowns for a short while but eventually something will break the camels back.

Though for me, my teddies and big warm hoodies always make me feel better. Thats another thing too, every autistic person has a 'thing'. That thing can be books, toys, clothes, blankets or anything else.

The best way I can describe a meltdown is:

You're five years old and seeing your favourite sweet and being told to go and eat it after a long and tiring day. You'll be much happier after eating that piece of chocolate or jelly or whatever else you imagined when I mentioned sweets (Candy for you non Europeans).

Now imagine that you're five years old and someone puts your favourite sweet in front of you and told you you're not allowed it. Imagine you had a really bad day and all you want is that sweet. You feel your throat tightening and you know you're about to cry. The person is now laughing and taking the sweet away.

As a five year old, you'll cry and kick and scream that its not fair. That a meltdown. Now imagine a fully grown adult doing it. Thats an autistic meltdown. Kids and teens have it too, but people tend to think a teen or child having an autistic meltdown is them being 'spoiled'.

Thanks for reading my small introduction to ASD. I hope I explained it properly. If you have any more questions feel free to comment and ask away. I don't mind any questions no matter how "dumb" you think they are. Many people would have the same question!