Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
*Christmas with my family*
Aunt Trudy: Do you have a boyfriend yet? You're cousin has already had four and she's a year younger than you!
My Brain: That's cause my cousin would screw a watermelon if it had a big enough stem attached! 🤬
Me: No, Aunt Trudy still single and ready to mingle! 😊
GrandPappy: Oh, you've gained weight!
My Brain: You noticed me gaining weight, but you've yet to notice that beer belly you've been working on the last thirty years!
Me: Just a bit, Pappy...
Cousin Kitty: Why are you dressed like that?
My Brain: Because I dressed for a family gathering, not for selling my body on the street corner!
Me: Y'know me, Cuz! I like to dress casual and comfy!
My Mother: That's your third plate, sweetie!
My Brain: And that's your second plate plus the two boxes of chocolates you scarfed down when you were cleaning the house this morning! Is that your idea of a diet, mummy fattest?
Me: I'll put in ten extra minutes on the treadmill tomorrow morning!
Me: I love having the family together for the holidays!
My Brain: I should go outside and cut all the brake lines on their car's!
Seriously though, can anyone else relate to this? Or is just my family that's a bunch of low key jerks? *Sigh* Family, can't live with 'em, can't shoot them the neighbors will call the cops... 🤣😉😘💋❤
