My Lover's Face

A Word on Cranial Nerves

Author's Note: Allow me to geek out on you for a minute or two...or seven!

The face has 12 cranial nerves. First year medical students studying MBChB, which is the qualification where I am from rather than the MBBS which is the requirement in Thailand, need to memorize all 12 of them, their functions, and how to diagnose them when they are not working properly.

Author's Note: Yes, I played fast and loose with the timeline on this since I assume most med students would learn this at about the same time.

This usually leads to the formation of mnemonic phrases to make it easier to remember.

My first year roommate was a medical student and somehow I got roped into helping them come up with one. The mnemonic phrase you come up with is always easier to remember than one you are given. So we had one that started with "Ooh, ooh, ooh..." and it quickly deteriorated from there.

Forward several years later and for some inexplicable reason those nerves have become integrated into my memory. For a while I thought it was wasting vital brain space that could be used for something else more relevant to my career path. Now, I figure it was just waiting for this story.

I realized, quite unexpectedly, that it is much easier to remember the facial nerves by looking at the face of a lover. No offence to those who love their mnemonics. When you are looking at someone that close their face and these nerves begin to acquire a certain meaningfulness that isn't quite so clinical and yet is easy to remember. So...

CN is short for Cranial Nerve

The way your lover smells (Olfactory CN 1).
The way you see them...or the way they look at you (Optical CN II).
The way their pupils dilate when they are aroused (Oculomotor CN III).
The way they look down when they are shy (Trochlear CN IV).
The way you feel when they kiss your forehead, cheek or chin (Trigeminal CN V).
Looking to the side with embarrassment – because they said something utterly cheesy yet sweet (Abducens CN VI).
The smile that crinkles the eyes, the frown, the pout and the pucker (Facial CN VII).
Hearing the sound of their voice (Acoustic CN VIII).
The way they taste and how they kiss – with tongue – and how they sometimes swallow convulsively when they are around you (Glossopharyngeal CN IX and Vagus CN X).
The way they shrug their shoulders (Spinal Accessory CN XI) and,
The way they talk to you because they can work that sweet tongue (Hypoglossal CN XII)

So if you ever need to learn the cranial nerves there they are and what they do.

And if you pay attention to the face of the one you love, you might have a completely different reason for going, "Ooh, ooh, ooh..."

Author's note: I'm done now! I hope this information occupies unnecessary space in your head until you find a use for it that you never thought possible.