Chapter 18

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Colorado led into Utah, which led into Nevada, both of which were rather uneventful. The two ended up passing through the states easily and quickly, wanting to reach California, the land of eternal sunshine and stars, quickly.  

Not long after that did Castiel find wi-fi and google directions to Stanford, keeping them up on his computer as they drove.  

"I'm scared to meet your brother," Castiel admitted when they were close to the school.  

"Why? He's just like me." 

"Well, that's terrifying." 

"Shut up, Cas," Dean laughed, making Castiel smile. God damn it, his cheeks hurt. He'd never smiled so much in his whole lifetime, and it had only been a few weeks of being with Dean. "It'll be fine. He's a smarter version of me, I suppose. Maybe a little more conservative." 

"Oh? Maybe he's the one I should be with, then..." 

"Dammit, Cas," Dean grabbed his hand. "No way. You're mine." 

Castiel fought against another smile and lost. "That I am," he whispered, kissing Dean's cheek. "All yours. Now hurry up." 

*** 

Dean yawned and leaned back against the headboard of the motel bed, staring at Castiel, who had been sitting at the small table since they got the room, tapping away on his laptop. "Baby," he sighed, "come to bed."  

"I'm writing, Dean," Castiel smiled slightly. "You want me over there so bad, come move me." 

"But that would mean effort," Dean whined. "I've been the one driving all day, Cas. Just a little bit? I just want to rest with you."  

Castiel looked up at Dean through his eyelashes, at which Dean batted his own jokingly. It worked however, because Castiel sighed dramatically and moved to the bed after closing his laptop. He toed off his shoes as he walked, giving Dean a nice little show of him almost tripping. A grin settled on Dean's face, making Castiel scoff as he sat down. "I was coming over here anyway, Dean." 

"Yeah, but I got you to come faster." 

Castiel rolled his eyes when Dean laughed. "You're so immature." 

"Come on! That was funny, man, laugh!" Dean grinned. "You're pissed at me for something, aren't you?" 

All Castiel did was frown. "No- I- what? What reason could I possibly have to be mad at you?" 

Dean shrugged slightly, somber again. "How should I know? You're just kind of giving off that air... You know, that one girls get when they're pissed at you and you don't know why?" 

"Are you saying I'm giving off the air of a woman, Dean?" 

"Shit-" Dean exhaled sharply. "I wasn't, Cas. I just don't know what words to use." 

"I'm going to take a shower," Castiel mumbled, pulling his hand from Dean's as he stood. "Don't worry about staying up. You need your sleep."  

With that Castiel went into the bathroom and Dean waited until he heard the shower running to angrily stand up and strip to his boxers, crawl under the covers, and close his eyes.  

Sleep evaded him the rest of the night. 

*** 

Castiel didn't sleep either. While he thought that Dean was sleeping he scooped up his laptop and quietly left the motel room to sit on the hood of the Impala. The stars were bright in the space along the highway, smattering the sky with pinholes of light. It made Castiel think of the pieces of cardboard he used to poke holes in and lay over flashlights while laying in the dark of his room as a child, just so he could see the stars on his ceiling because it made him feel as though he was outside, camping under the stars in some far off land. 

Even then he had wanted out of Vermont. 

The thought made him smile a little and he looked back down, flipping the laptop open on his lap. The light of the word document stared up at him, the blinking cursor representing every passing thought in his head in that moment.  

Every thought went down on the page. Every description, every piece of dialogue, every smile, laugh, joke, simile, metaphor, hyperbole went down on the line with simple taps of keys and word formations. Every few hours Castiel would look up from the screen, to the dark, paint splattered sky, then back to the computer screen.  

Eventually he realized that the sky was lightening. The sun was breaking over the horizon with a soft orange glow, and Castiel had moved to the trunk of the Impala at some point in the night, so he watched it rise slowly. 

He wished Dean were beside him so that they could share it. Castiel wasn't even mad at Dean. Dean had expected him to be, so he decided to act it and let it go.  

*** 

Dean looked at Castiel dejectedly, wishing to reach out and run his hand through soft brown hair and kiss pliant lips and sit beside him and watch the sun, but he couldn't. Castiel was mad at him for some unknown reason, and Dean didn't want to push it any further, so he stayed standing barefoot in the gravel behind Castiel, leaning slightly against his Baby as he watched Castiel watch the sunrise.  

After a few minutes he worked up the courage to walk around the other side of the car, sliding onto the hood next to Castiel. A sigh left his lips as he braced one foot on the silver fender, looking out at the orange sky. "I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling like he was breaking the moment, "for whatever I did." 

"You didn't do anything." Castiel replied just as softly as Dean spoke. "You- uh- you seemed like you wanted me to be mad at you, so I did it. I wasn't mad at all." 

Dean looked over at Castiel with a frown, seeing a small smile on Castiel's face. Castiel was looking at him as well. "Asshat," Dean chuckled softly. 

"I love you," Castiel laughed. His hand slid into Dean's. Dean lined up their fingers and laced them together, lifting his companion's hand to his lips.  

"I love you too," Dean grinned. "I'm exhausted." 

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 12, 2014 ⏰

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