Counting Stars | ✔

Chapter Twenty-nine

She looks into my eyes and away quickly, running her hand up and down my shaft. This has never ever happened to me before. I squeeze my eyes shut and concentrate on the feeling of her hands stroking me. Then my mind does something that catches me by surprise. It replaces Ellyn with a naked Jess. I imagine that it's her hand that's gripping me. I picture her soft, delicate body underneath me. I fantasize about my lips on her nipples and my hands running down her curves.

I immediately feel myself starting to stiffen and throb. Ellyn moans with satisfaction and connects our lips, shoving the hand that isn't occupied in my hair. My mind goes back to the day I tasted Jess and how good it felt to have her fingers in my hair tugging roughly. I see her flushed cheeks and her wild hungry eyes staring down at me. Ellyn kisses down my neck and then up again. And I pretend that it's Jess running her tongue on the shell of my ear. My heart rate starts to go up as I get lost in my fantasy.

"I love how big you are. I really did miss you, Liam." She whispers.

"God, baby. I miss you so much, Jess."

As soon as the name leaves my mouth, my eyes snap open, and we both freeze. I see Ellyn's confusion and then the accusation that fills her eyes and then the shame. She slides out from underneath me, covering herself up with a blanket.

"You're thinking of her? Now?"

I want to tell her that she hasn't left my mind since the day I found her half-naked in my backyard. But instead, I look away.

When I remain quiet, she sniffles.

"So what? I don't do it for you anymore?" Her eyes brim with tears, and I feel like the biggest asshole in the world. How could I be so selfish?

"Ellyn, it's not that. You're not the problem here."

She chuckles, wiping at her eyes.

"It's not you, it's me? Really? You're going to use that line on me?"

I shove my fingers in my hair, sighing. I don't know what the right thing to say is. I'm the one who should be embarrassed, not her. I somehow let my fantasy consume me. I got carried away, and I thought out loud.

"I'm sorry." I breathe.

"Just go." She says brittly.

I nod, putting my jeans back on. Before I exit the room, I turn around to look at the dejected girl sitting on the bed.

"I am sorry, Elle. It's really not you. It's me. I don't know what else to say. I'm a fucking mess right now."

She shakes her head, looking at me with mournful eyes.

"I saw the look on your face when you were looking at something on your phone earlier before you asked me to come up here. I figured she had something to do with it. I've never seen you act like this, Liam. Ryan was right. You're in love with her."

Jessica

I hear loud laughter, and it takes me a second to recognize the voice as my own.

"I think you've had enough. I'm cutting you off." Jayden attempts to take the bottle of scotch out of my hand, and I struggle to hold on to it. But he is much stronger so he wins.

"Boo," I chant loudly. "Beware, a debbie downer!" I say to no one in particular in a sing-song voice, and I attempt to lean over the railing, bending over backward.

Jayden immediately catches me by the waist, and I yelp with a giggle.

"For God's sake, Jess! I didn't know you were such a lightweight." He pulls me towards him and walks us to the sliding door on the balcony. But I don't want to go back inside.