Chapter 9

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-Liam's POV-

"....Yeah there isn't anyone to blame but you!"

I sat is complete shock before the sniffling and tears of Niall shook me out of it. My protective instinct immediately took over and I jumped from my seat grabbing Niall, pulling him into my arms. I pressed his head into my neck trying to get him to calm down but when he didn't stop crying I knew he was hurt. I shot a glare at Harry as I saw the looks of regret cross his face but it was to late for all that.

"To your room Harry! NOW!" I yelled at him my anger coming out laced in my voice. He stood up and walk out with so much as a mutter and I heard the inevitable slamming of the door come from his shared room. Returning my attention back to Niall I continued rubbing his back trying to get him to calm down. This is why I tried to talk to Harry. This is exactly why I tried to help him because I knew he was going to do this. I could tell by his actions, the way he was so reserved instead of his usual cheerful fun loving self. The way he'd always feel so uncomfortable around us and always around Niall. He looked at him as if he was afraid of something....what scared him so much?

I glanced over at Zayn and Louis whose faces were pure looks of horror as they followed Harry walk out of the living and then at each other. I could see them whispering to each other probably trying to figure out what just happened.

"W-What did I d-do wrong?" A small Irish voice broke my thoughts and I cringed at the hurt I heard in his words. I shot Louis a glance and he nodded standing up, instantly understanding what I needed him to do.

"N-Nothing Ni, you didn't do anything wrong...." I whispered to him softly. "Just...just go to sleep, everything will be fine." He relaxed against my chest still sniffling and slowly I begin to feel myself fall out.

-Louis' POV-

I knew something was bothering Harry. I bloody knew it and I didn't do anything about it! I should have pushed harder for answers that day I tried to talk to him before. "Don't worry Boo, there's nothing to talk about." His words rang through my ears as I walked upstairs. I shouldn't have let him get away from me without explaining himself and I wasn't going to today.

I swung open the door to Harry and Niall's room fuming and I looked over at Harry with his face buried in his knees. "Are you fucking kidding me Harry? What was that downstairs?" I said practically yelling at him.

"Go away.." He said softly to and I could hear the regret in his voice. It was to late to be regretful because the was no taking back what he just said. I scoffed as he spoke, "Yeah right, I'd have to be completely mental to walk away right now and you'd be crazy to think I would." I answered him back through my teeth trying not to yell at him. I just want to get through to him so I can help him.

-Harry's POV-

"...you'd be crazy to think I would." He said and I answered him back with a forced laugh, "You don't think I already am? I've been driving myself absolutely mad in this house alright?" He started pacing in front of me, "Then why didn't you talk to one of us! We're always here for you Haz, you didn't have to yell at Nia-" "Oh but I did Lou," I interrupted him looking up and seeing the surprise in his eyes as he looked at me. "It's all because of him. His blue eyes and blond hair...his fucking contagious laugh and smile that immediately lights up a room. The way he's to naive for his own good and all of it is fucking killing me! I love the way he looks at me and the way he hugs me drives me up the bloody wall." Before I could stop myself I was admitting to not only Louis, but myself. "Haz.." He tried speaking but I just talked through. "The way he looks so innocent to everyone but I know he has just as dirty of a mind as I do and his sailor swearing mouth that he hides from everyone but us. I can't bloody stand it when people bad mouth him saying he doesn't belong with us because he's absolutely amazing and I....I.." I faltered towards the end suddenly realizing I was crying.

I wiped my face trying to his them from Louis but he'd already seen, I could practically feel his eyes burning a hole in me. He walked closer sitting in front of me on the bed and I could see the gears in his head trying to process everything I just said. "Hazza....Do you...do you lo-"

I interrupted him again before he could say it. "No!! No I can't love him! I'm not.."

"Gay?" He answered for me and I looked down from his questioning eyes. I buried my face into my hands shaking my head. "You love him." A little voice said to me the same one I heard in the woods. "I can't be gay, you guys would hate me! Everybody would hate me! Niall would hate me because he would never feel that way for me! I can't handle him being close to because of that. That's why I had to push him away." I cried out not being able to stop the tears from coming out. Every emotion I had been feeling since I got here was being unleashed and I wasn't able to keep control of them anymore.

Suddenly I felt his arms being wrapped around me pulling me in close to him, "Haz don't you ever for a second think that any of us would ever hate you for who you love. Man or women, love is love." He whispered to me as he patted my head. I let it all out still crying because of how wrong I was. I should have just confided in him in the beginning.

"I'm scared Boo...he'll hate me. I know he will, I've been such a shit friend to him...I don't deserve him." I said to him softly into his chest as he rubbed my back. "Haz...no matter how hard he'd try Ni could never hate anyone. He'll forgive you, you just have to tell him ok? No more secrets.." I pulled away wiping the tears from my face and shook my head.

"B-but.."

"No buts Harry," he said grabbing my face forcing me to look up at him. "You need to do this before the damage becomes irreversible. You hurt him..I understand you wanted to hurt him before he hurt you...but you need to pull you head out of your arse and wake up because he needs you." He said with a grin. I thought back to him, remembering all of the times where we were on tour together. The hours on the tour bus, or short smiles and glances across stage. Did they always have this meaning behind it?

"He'll never forgive me...or ever feel the same." I said sadly trying to avoid going to face Niall again. I flashed back to the way his face fell and the first tears that he cried before Liam told me to leave. I hurt him so much more than I realized and now he's going to hate me for these feeling that I can't stop from swelling in me.

"Well we'll never know until you try right? Come on!" He said grabbing my hand and pulling me to stand up off the bed. My eyes widened as I thought about a million ways this could go wrong. "W-Wait...what do I say?" I asked panicking a bit as he pulled me through the door as we quickly stepped down the stairs and I misstepped causing myself to stumble down the last few. He stopped outside the living room and faced me giving me a smile,

"Just tell him exactly what you told me and I think you'll be fine." Think, great i'll probably be the lucky one who he won't forgive.

I faced back towards the door and closed my eyes taking a deep breath as I thought about Niall and his smile. I want him to smile because of me, I don't ever want him to cry because of me...mostly I want to be his source of happiness again.

"Go get him Haz." Louis whispered to me and I looked over at him and nodded.

A new found confidence shot through me as I pushed opened the door bursting into room, "Niall I-" I started but cut myself off immediately when my eyes searched around for the blond boy and saw nothing. I met Liam's frantic gaze and it looked like my voice woke him but my eyes darted between him and the empty space beside him. That's where Niall was sitting, that's where he was supposed to be!

I couldn't remember how to breath and I tried to steady myself before I started hyperventilating. I couldn't hide the panic from my voice as I settled my eyes on him.

"Liam, where Niall?"

-Niall's POV-

It's so cold...I can't feel my nose or my fingers. It's so white out here, and I can't see very far. The wind is whistling around me, but why is it so quiet?

Maybe I should just sit here, maybe this is all a dream.

Maybe things will go back to normal...if I just close my eyes.

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(a/n) omg another cliffy, don't hurt me! But where the hell is Niall?

This chapter was harder to finish than I thought and I'm sorry but I just had so pretty bad WB.

Anyways I hope you readers liked it! Please let me know your thoughts (:

Love you guys!!

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