it was the last day of school before summer break officially started. stokeley watched amala look at the clock. excited to get out of school. it was friday so jahseh knew she would probably go to a party with stokeley. the thought of them together made him mad. he wondered if they'd hugged, kissed or maybe fucked. probably not, if they'd fucked stokeley would've told him.
jahseh watched as stokeley and amala started talking, they sat side by side. jahseh used to sit next to amala until the teacher told jahseh to move because he was "causing a distraction." cockblocker.
jahseh watched amala make plans to go to a party with stokeley, of course he agreed. they were practically dating. since stokeley was going jahseh knew he'd be invited. good. he needed to make sure amala would be safe. jahseh could be the one to rescue her if her heel broke, or if she hurt herself opening a wine bottle, anything could happen. then the bell ring. everyone pushed and shoved to get out of the classroom. if only amala would've known that it would be the last time she'd ever heard that bell.
jahseh waited until everyone had walked out and the teacher had turned his back to sniff amala's chair. this was his favorite part of the day. he loved the smell of her perfume. warm vanilla sugar. after he was finished sniffing he grabbed his stuff and left.
...
when jahseh got home, he was said, no one was home so he was free to cry, he hated crying in front of people. he was upset that amala would never be his, as much as he hated to admit it amala wa in love with stokeley and he was in love with her. jahseh sent in the picture, he was unnecessary and irrelevant. he grabbed a knife off his bed stand and pressed it against his wrist until it started to bleed. he laughed at the pain. then whe started to cry. maybe amala would appreciated him if he was dead. maybe she would see that that belonged together.
...
parties weren't really jahseh's thing, but wherever amala went he went. he stood a safe distance away from amala, he smiled as he thought about who beautiful she was. he smiled even harder as he thought about asking her to dance. maybe this was his chance. maybe he could prove that they were meant to be together. as jahseh gained the courage to ask her to dance stokeley grabbed her from behind and kissed her. they smiled and laughed as normal couples do. but no one knew how much that had hurt jahseh.
it felt like amala had stomped on his heart, he was crushed. but at least amala was happy, his feelings didn't matter. he would rather die before hurting amala. jahseh walked to the bar to get a drink so he didn't see stokeley and amala run upstairs. when he turned around amala was gone. jahseh searched frantically afraid that something had happened to her. he had searched every inch of the first floor looking for her but he still couldn't find her. he looked up and saw stairs leading to rooms.
as he looked the rooms he was filled with dread, he was hoping that what he thought was happening wasn't happening at all. inside the rooms were drunk people and couples making out. then he reached the last door, his heart was practically leaping out his chest. he heard moaning and grunts from the other side if the door. when he opened the door he saw amala and stokeley. together. butt ass naked. fucking.
at that moment his heart broke. the only woman he'd ever loved killed him. it was as if amala had pulled his heart right out of his chest and laughed in his face. jahseh felt like he was dying. tears fell down his face. amala got dressed as stokeley left the party. "did you even love me?"
"I don't love you."
"tell me how you hate me, tell me how im trash and you can easily replace me."
"you're crazy jahseh, I don't like you at all, stop bothering me."
that felt like a bullet going through his heart. amala pushed past him and a few seconds later walked out the front door. jahseh ran downstairs after her. she was driving away, jahseh got in his car and started following her. he looked at his knife beside him in the cupholder. he wasn't thinking straight, he was thinking with his broken heart. he could barely see there were so many tears in his eyes. it hurt so much. how could she hurt him life this. it was only fair to hurt her too, she had killed him. he wished amala should've said. "don't cry, I fucking love you." but she didn't, she ruined everything.
he watched as she pulled into her driveway and got out her car. maybe if she had turned around fast enough or stayed in her car or at the party she would be alive. maybe if she would've unlocked the door fast enough she'd be safe. maybe she would've seen jahseh come up behind her with a knife. maybe she wouldn't have gotten stabbed by the man who sdoreed her the most. maybe jahseh wouldn't dead. maybe he wouldn't have slit his wrists.
