To Be Found ♧ Legacies

27 | the next right thing

Celia had an uneasy feeling in her stomach after leaving Raf's room. The words Raf had spoken still rung in her own ears like an eerie warning. Was that really what she had been doing for the past six years? Compartmentalizing? Forcing herself to forget? It would make sense then why she shut down anytime Emma tried to talk to her about it. Still, she shook off the uneasiness that had overtaken her. There was a good chance this all was just her overreacting. She was shaken up by the eventful two days. It's not often she has to handle zombies and resurrected loved ones in a 48-hour period.

Yet still, she paused outside the library. Students still milled about on the inside, some writing letters, some just talking. There was a whole world to the Salvatore School outside of Celia's little bubble. Sometimes she forgot that.

The next few moments felt like autopilot even though she had never done this before. She gathered a piece of paper and a pencil off the top of one of the bookshelves before sitting at the tables. Then she started writing.

Dear Ms. Cowen,

I'm sorry. That's the simplest way I could put it. I never meant to hurt anyone that night. In fact, I only wanted to help. It hurt me seeing the way Maddie was treated and she never fought back. For once I wanted to fight back for her. But that's no excuse for what I did. I was young and impulsive. I never deserved your hospitality or Maddie's love. I'm sorry.

I hope you're watching over her now. I hope you're giving her solace when everyone seems so far away. I hope she's happy and I hope she remembers you. You both deserve that.

I should have written you sooner. Six years is a long time to be in denial. But I think I'm finally beginning to understand what it means to grieve. This is a crappy apology, but it's better than before. One day I hope you can forgive me.

Till next Remembrance Day,
Celia King

The words didn't come to her all at once. In fact, Celia had no clue just how long she was in that room struggling to find any sentence that fit her feelings. A few waves of students had come and went, but it didn't bother her. She wanted to get it perfect. She had to get it perfect. When she was finally finished, she wasn't quite satisfied with her work, but she still felt the whatever hole she felt before close a hair. It wasn't much but it was a step in the right direction. The next right thing. It would do for now.

She stood, folding the little piece of paper and tucking it her pocket. When the rest of her peers spread their letters amongst the cemetery, she was going to make a stop at the scene of the crime. Maddie's house.

"Hey," the voice behind her made her jump. "Um, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Celia glanced over her shoulder at her alpha. She wasn't expecting him to be done with the Cassie situation for at least the rest of the night. She was wrong.

"Is Cassie asleep?" The moment she asked the question, she regretted it. His eyes said it all. Cassie wasn't asleep, she was gone. "I... I'm sorry, Raf." Celia instinctively placed her hand on his shoulder, pulling him into a hug. There were times to hold grudges, a time of loss was not one of them.

When she backed away, his eyes were glowing. She knew it was from his grief and it just made her feel worse. He smiled at her, but no matter how hard he tried to hid it it was obviously forced. "It was pretty cool of you to help out with Cassie earlier. I wanted to say thank you."

Celia nodded. She wanted to say anything. That she was sorry he had to go through that. That she was there for him if he needed anything. That she forgave him? No. It didn't matter anyway because the words never came.

"You going somewhere?" He asked to fill the awkward silence before motioning down to Celia's hand where she had yet to put the note in her pocket. She let out a breathy laugh.

"Actually yeah. I'm going to deliver my note."

"Can I come with you? I just really want to be anywhere but here right now."

Celia bit her lip. She wasn't going where he thought she was, but how could she say no? Maybe this was fates way of saying she shouldn't go to the house alone? "Yeah."

He didn't seem to pick up that they were heading in the wrong direction until they were almost there. "Are we not going to the cemetery?"

Celia was planning on replying but her breath got caught in her throat as she saw the house. It wasn't anything special. It was an old shotgun home situated on a row of similar homes. It's shutters were brown, the siding was cream. The front porch was rotting from obvious neglect. In all honesty, their old abandoned foster home was more impressive. Yet someone still lived here. There were two bikes scattered in the grass out front. Lights were on in the windows and through the curtains you could see silhouettes moving. Someone had died here and someone still moved in. Celia legs gave out under her, but before she hit the ground she was caught.

"Woah," Raf gasped as she leaned on him. "C, what's going on? Where are..." he got quiet as it seemed to click. He held her up and together the two stepped forward. "Don't quit on me now."

The blood was completely gone from her face as she stared wide eyed at the house. "I-I guess I just never thought I'd be back here." Her voice was hushed, almost awestruck, which she was. She couldn't believe she was doing this right then. She couldn't believe she was doing this at all. Suddenly, she wasn't feeling so sure of herself. Maybe this was something she should've left untouched, just like she had for all these years.

Raf squeezed her hand, causing her to hesitate. Their whole prior conversation came flooding back. Closure. That was all this was about right? Giving herself a little more closure?

"Did talking to Cassie help?" She looked up at him as she asked this, watching his eyes go wide in surprise. It was kind of an abrupt question, she knew that. She also knew that he probably didn't put together the relevance of that question. Still, she wanted to know the answer. "Did it give you closure?"

His mouth fell open slightly, but still he nodded. "It did."

Celia pulled her hand away from his and fumbled through her pocket to get the note. The family that lived there was not the same as six years ago, but Celia knew that if ghosts existed they'd be haunting this house. Maybe the new owners would find this note. Maybe it would reach its acquired target. Either way, Celia hopes it would make her feel better. She stepped forward, placing the note on one of the tree branches. Maybe it wasn't the same as talking to a ghost from the past, but it was the next right thing. It had to be.