god is a woman (arthur shelby.)

twenty two.

☾

Rowan watched large hand on the clock went further and further around. She'd seen seven o'clock, quarter past seven, half seven and was now heading for twenty to eight. She could feel the eyes of happy couples discussing whether or not the young woman had been stood up, and Rowan couldn't bring herself to admit that she had.

"Madam, could I perhaps top up your glass?" The waiter appeared at her table holding a bottle of wine far too expensive for her to even contemplate about drinking.

"No sorry, I've just remembered I need to be somewhere else." She spoke brashly, slamming down a few coins on the table to pay for her glass she had on the way in.

Quickly, she stormed through the restaurant and out of the doorway, hoping not to encounter anyone she knew that had seen her 'date' go so poorly.

She knew exactly where Arthur would be. She had tried to be so sympathetic to him recently, knowing that underneath it all he was seriously mentally ill. However, there was no convincing or excuses this time. Nothing could stop her feeling this hurt.

Rowan hailed herself a taxi and told him to take her to the Garrison. Throughout the journey, she let a few tears slip, catching the attention of the driver who didn't want to pry into her issues but couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"Everything okay miss?" He asked with a soft Irish accent, his eyes meeting hers in the mirror.

"Just a shite evening, that's all." She laughed cynically.

"Do you want me to leave you to your thoughts?" He offered politely.

Rowan nodded, and was met with a look of knowing from the driver.

The drive was long. Long enough to prove that the distance between the restaurant and the pub showed the contrast in the vibe it had. Arthur had picked a lovely restaurant for her because she'd told him she needed to tell him something. But alas, the opportunity to get drunk at Michael's eighteenth birthday party was far more alluring than spending time with the girl he claimed to be so in love with.

She tipped the driver for being so sweet to her and thanked him personally as she hopped out of the cab. The inside of the pub was warm and inviting, and she would've been more jubilant if she hadn't come all this way to lacerate Arthur with her sharpened tongue.

"Harry." She called as she approached the bar. "The Shelby's here?"

"The snug Rowan." Harry told her, nodding towards the sectioned off part of the pub. She thanked him as well, and headed for the door.

Rowan pushed the door open and slapped a cheeky smile on her face as she was greeted by Polly and Tommy first. Tommy didn't appear to put much emotion in his hello, as he and Rowan hadn't been on the best of terms for some time.

"Happy birthday Michael." She smiled and pulled the young boy in for a hug. There was only five years between them and she saw him as an irritating yet endearing younger brother.

"We didn't know you were coming sweetheart." John told her, creating a pint by sticking a large glass in a bucket of alcohol they had before handing it to her.

"Can't miss this birthday can I?" She pulled Michael into a headlock.

Arthur knew he'd done wrong. He wouldn't look her in the eye nor talk to her.

"Besides, it's not like I had anything else to do tonight, was there?"

It was this that caught Arthur's attention.

"I'm going to the toilet." He snapped, standing up and barging John out of the way, almost sending his drink flying.

"Have you been crying?" Michael asked under his breath in Rowan's ear.

"Fuck off, tiny prick." She pushed him away before leaving the snug, following Arthur all the way to the toilets.

Rowan shoved the door to the deserted men's toilets open, and saw Arthur doing a line of coke from the surface around the sinks.

"You seem to be having a wonderful time out there." She remarked, staring into the mirror and reapplying her deep red lipstick.

"Don't start." He sighed. "I made a mistake."

Rowan turned sharply on her heels to face him, her long brown hair almost smacking him in the face as she did so.

"A mistake Arthur, is forgetting to put the milk bottles out for collection meaning you have to skip a week of fresh milk. A mistake is not standing your girlfriend up in a slap up restaurant whilst you go and get smashed with your recently turned adult cousin."

Arthur's grip on the porcelain basin was so strong that his knuckles were fading to white.

"I've had a long and busy week Ro, forgive me for slipping up once."

"I've told you repeatedly how important this was to me. You knew I needed to talk to you seriously and so you do what? That's right, you ignore it all!"

"I didn't fucking ignore you!"

As the argument got increasingly heated, they were interrupted by an elderly man wanting to use the toilet. The pair didn't speak whilst the man was in there with them, giving an added sense of awkwardness to the scene.

Once the gentleman had finally left, Arthur was ready to let all hell loose on her, but she spoke before he could.

"You're sick Arthur. You're really fucking sick." She told him calmly, with no response from him. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to let you treat me like a mug."

"I ain't treating you like anything." He seethed. "You're easily fucking disposable. Now are you going to tell me what's so fucking important or not?"

"With an attitude like that, over my dead fucking body."

Rowan stormed out of the bathrooms and headed straight back to the snug.

"Michael I'm going home if you don't mind." She told the youngest.

"Please stay." He begged genuinely.

"Have a cracking night kid, I'm just feeling all that well."

"Get better soon love." He patted her shoulder before going back to his conversation with John and Tommy.

As Rowan turned to leave, she felt a grip on her left boob and she froze on the spot.

"Babies can make you feel all sorts of poorly." Polly whispered, making sure no one was watching.

"What?" Rowan softly asked, in too much shock to come out with any sort of cohesive response.

"And I'll say this, you'll have your work cut out with this little boy."

☾

a/n: happy new year!! x