Storm of Bells

40. Very Presentable

Eve's eyes danced. 'They're multi-purpose knives. The advertisement said so.'

'How wonderful.'

Patsy elbowed Eve aside. 'My turn!'

I took a precautionary step backward. She thrust forward the package in her hand that was decorated with...

Nothing?

'Let me guess. You couldn't find wrapping paper with 'votes for women' on it?'

Patsy grinned from ear to ear. 'You know me so well.'

Taking the package, I held it up and shook it. From inside came an ominous rattling. Dubiously, I glanced at Patsy, who was still standing there, grinning from ear to ear.

'What is it?' I enquired. 'A shotgun? A garrotte?'

'If only.' Patsy gave a sigh.

'Come on!' the others egged me on. 'Open it! Open it!'

Cautiously, I lifted the lid and...

'Oh, Patsy!' Eyes brimming with tears, I gazed down at the framed photograph of four girls under a banner extolling a very familiar motto. 'You...you are just...!'

I threw my arms around her and hugged her tightly. 'Don't lose touch! Not ever!'

'Of course not, silly.' Still grinning, Patsy whispered into my ears. 'Just you wait until I start badgering you to spend your husband's money for the feminist cause.'

I raised an eyebrow. 'Who says you'll have to badger me?'

Patsy's eyes went wide. 'Don't tell me you plan to...'

'Psht!' Raising a finger to my lips, I winked. 'Don't talk too loudly. I haven't managed to marry him yet.'

Delirious with happy dreams of future projects, Patsy danced off.

Next, I was accosted by a stream of servants and villagers, all their relatives and children in tow. Wide-eyed, they handed me small package after package, most of them filled with lovingly self-made household utensils. I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I had no bloody idea what most of them would be used for. Although the rolling pin might come in handy if, one day, I'd have a little disagreement with my future husband.

'Thanks so much!' Smiling broadly, I patted the shoulder of the little girl who had handed me the rolling pin. Her face turned as red as a tomato. 'This can be very useful to a married woman. You'll see one day.'

'Y-yes, My Lady. You're w-welcome, My Lady!'

Bursting with happiness, the little girl ran off, ready to tell all her friends about how much Her Ladyship loved rolling pins.

'I'm next!' announced Amy, pushing ahead of the next few villagers and handing me a slim package. 'Open! Open!'

I took the package warily. It was flat and light, covered in wrapping paper decorated with...

'Amy!' Hissing, I grabbed a cloth off the closest table and threw it over the wrapping paper. 'There are children present!'

'And, if ye let yourself be inspired by my wrapping paper,' Amy suggested jovially, 'there soon will be a few more.'

I wished I could grab another cloth and hide my burning face in it. Unfortunately, there were none left.

'What, exactly,' I demanded, lowering my voice to a whisper, 'is inside that thing?'

'Well...' Amy wiggled her eyebrows like the snake in the Garden of Eden. 'Let's just say it's something that should be very...helpful during your wedding night.'