Today its been 4 years since I talked to you.
That's so strange. It will never truly make sense to me that you dont exist anymore in this world. It's so wrong.
We used to have the longest conversations. You were my very best friend. The person that I could tell anything to and you would understand.
I miss with all my heart, your voice, your kindness, your gentle patience, your heart. Your hugs. You gave the best hugs. Your sense of adventure. Your random and rare silliness.
You loved me more than anyone ever has.
I love you and miss you always mom.
I've been on a long adventure lately. Exploring new places and old. I sat by the river in the mountains where we sat that day and remembered the sound of your laugh and cried. Because you were an echo in my mind. I walked through the forest and saw a rabbit, calmly watching me. Wondered if somehow you were looking at me through its eyes.
You would be so very proud of me. Because I'm still here. I never gave up. I'm better and stronger than I ever have been. More determined, more motivated than ever to love myself and life.
It's so hard here without you sometimes. But it is my responsibility to pursue my happiness and create it. That is my job because I know you always just wanted me to be happy. You gave me life... and for that I will repay you with my pursuit of living it to its fullest.
I'm so proud of myself because this is the first year that I havent let missing you break me down. It does break my heart that you're not here, but i havent let it make me lose my hope or my motivation. Instead it is the opposite.
If you are watching, you see how much I am trying, to change myself, to work harder on my dreams, to fight. I am who I am because you loved me so much.
Sometimes I cant remember
How I stay so strong
But once somebody loves you
They're never truly gone.
And I love you 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
