DARE ーminsung ✓

26

[Han Jisung]

I lost track of how many minutes had passed by. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't focus on the fans before me. I mindlessly signed away and displayed my best smile but I wasn't here. The words my precious fans spoke didn't make it into my ears. I've never been this anxious for a fan sign event.

It was the day I'm meant to meet him for the first time ever. I didn't know how to feel. I rubbed my legs together and sighed once more. My heart was in my throat, not allowing me to stay calm. My eyes relentlessly searched the crowds, in a frantic attempt to spot him. Minho. He must be here. And we'll meet today, right here.

Beforehand, I'd already made sure my outfit was flawless and my hair was done impeccably. It has to be perfect. I have to look perfect.

What could possibly go wrong, right?

According to plan, Minho will be the last person in line. I replayed Hyunjin's words, every single one of them, in my head like an audiotape on repeat. Inhaling deeply, I looked to the waiting line for the millionth time-

I couldn't find him. Many different scenarios played in my mind, all sorts of possibilities for how this could end. This will go well. Right? It has to. It has to work out. I can faintly hear Changbin's voice on my side, and Chan's a little farther away. It felt like drowning in a fog.

Fingers snapped loudly right before my face, I jolted in response and my eyes finally focused on the person.

Hyunjin.

"Why are you being so jittery?" He flashed a charming smile, "It's going to be okay."

I repeated his words under my breath and took the album from his hands. He continued reassuring me but only half of his words got to me.

He snapped his fingers once again.

"Listen, Jisung. Remember the plan?"

I nodded. Then it hit me. Shit.

"He's after the next two people in line."

Hyunjin's words struck me hard. He's gonna be here soon. I felt my heart race. I didn't dare look to the side. Hyunjin's time was up, he got up to leave but before walking away, he slightly bent down and whispered,
"Even if this doesn't go well, it's not the end and you're not at fault."

The reassurance and comfort I felt with Hyunjin's words disappeared as he left. I wish he could stay longer. Was it wrong to put him two people ahead of Minho?

The next two fans came and went, all too soon.

And there he was. Minho. For an ephemeral moment, the world may have stopped and I may have forgotten how to breathe. He settled down before me, I could do nothing but stare in awe.

The blinding lights of the venue cast a reflection on his milky skin. I ran my eyes over his features carefully, from his red, pillowy lips curved into a shy smile to the soft, chestnut strands resting on his forehead, then I locked my gaze on his hypnotising caramel eyes. I forced a smile, not willing to let his angelic smile go unreturned. His face blossomed with a full grin.

He was perfect.

He greeted with a small hello, or I'm not sure if I imagined it. My mind was racing. I like him. I like Minho. This guy, in front of me now. My world. My Minho.

'Hyungie,' I'm supposed to say.

The word didn't leave my mouth however, it felt muffled in my numb throat, like I had gravels stuck inside that refused to let my voice out. I sensed the worry in Minho's gaze, he cleared his throat,
"I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable."

Say it. I should say it. Call him Minho Hyungie. It's me, your baby. Your Jisungie. It's me, Minho-

Like time spent through an hourglass, our session came to an end. Minho was already up on his feet. He's leaving. I tried to choke out my words, anything at all,

"Th-Thank you for coming,"

That's all I could say. Another heavenly smile made way to his face before he said something, which I didn't quite catch, because my mind was overwhelmed. He's leaving, and I didn't play my part. I ruined it.

Changbin and Chan had already stood up since the signature part was over. The music got louder, I could vaguely hear the intro of Zone. I should rap. My verse comes first. But I can't. My heart started thumping. I heard blood pound against my ears. I was afraid to look at the crowd and meet Hyunjin's eyes, I'm sure he must be disappointed.

Minho left. I didn't tell him. I didn't fix things. I wasted Hyunjin's efforts to help.

The staff must've been waiting until I stand so they could clear the place for us to perform. I felt my vision blur, tears stung my eyes and I didn't dare to blink. It was suddenly hot, so hot and sweaty. I wanted to grab the water bottle off the table but my hands were trembling. It felt like time was warped, I gave up on the bottle and rose to my feet. I didn't want to be a hindrance to the staff. But now, the trembling seemed to have travelled down my arms and legs. I could barely stand upright. I have to calm down.

I sucked in a deep breath but it came out sharp and shallow. I can't breathe. The people around faded away, I felt a hand on my shoulder and Chan's voice but the feeling of my heart almost popping out of my chest distracted me too much. I felt sick.

Soon, somebody was dragging my hand, leading me somewhere. Then the voices and noises from earlier completely disappeared.

"You're here. You're here and this will pass, okay? Follow my breathing." I could finally make out Changbin's words clearly. He had pulled me backstage. He inhaled deeply then exhaled slowly, and I felt my body subconsciously follow his steady breathing.

Then realisation hit me.

This isn't how it should be. By now things should've been fixed. I felt cold tears run down me cheeks, Changbin pulled me into an embrace, and soon my tears were soaking the fabric on his shoulder.

His hand traced circles on my back, calming my nerves.

"I-I failed.. I didn't make it." My words muffled into his shoulder.

That's all I could think of.

I failed.

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a;n
Hm. My 0.009th brain cell said its good to drop this bomb before going to bed bc the gut feeling in my appendix is signaling that my data will finish tomorrow when I'm supposed to update... Hope u liked it :D And good night sksksk it's 12:30 am

((Or... Maybe this dumb girl is making excuses for being impatient lol))