MUSE

αντιο σας (goodbye)

An inner monologue from the heartbroken.

Why didn't you fight for what you want?
After all the heartaches, the hopes, and, the dreams?

But wasn't he your dream?
The dream you chased tirelessly even after seeing to whom the flowers he sent were addressed to?

You were like a statue.
Sitting, waiting for him to come around.
Begging for him to remember a memory or two.
Craving for a glance or a smile.

So in the end, are you still going to be a beggar?
Waiting for him to come around, to ask for what you can get?

I don't want to.
I hate to be this way.

My only defense is to look away whenever you come around.
To act as if you have never existed in my life.
To pretend that not even once have we crossed paths, and you touched mine, leaving your memories scattered all over the place. I try to pretend it never happened.

To pretend that you mean absolutely nothing to me but a mere shadow.

But in truth, you were my sunlight.
Not a trace of darkness of you in my memory, except for the stormy rain when you left.

You are nothing but a distant memory now.

Why did you run away again like you always would when we met?

Confirmation is a pleasure, a wind from the heavens.
You left me wondering, hanging on a dangling thread.
You gave me a gaze that I didn't meet, and you fled away.

It would've been more settling, even though heartbreaking, to know you consider me as nothing but a part of your past.
Or even nothing at all.

We could have left it at that.
We could have moved on.

Your happiness is the source of mine, and I have told myself over and over again that I would gladly leave you be if that means your happiness is granted, even with someone else by your side.

And I stand by my words even until today.

It's weird to write all of these things about you without the usual ache, nor warmth in my chest.
But this is indifference.

And after you left, this has always been the thing I chase after.
Sometimes I do fail, but other than those days of missing you, I'm finally okay.

Author's Note
As promised- a short story, haha.
There was a whole story of heartbreak, and someone's departure that actually inspired me to write some kind of a story as a tribute for the fondest memories I have of them, and a sign to close the chapter I've been going back to these past years.

That's why this book means a lot to me, other than being the first non-fan-fiction work I've done.

Thank you for reading this far. This book wouldn't make it this far without each and every one of you, because hey, what is a book without a reader?

Much love, sincerely,
-Cts.💙