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Chapter 4: Memories

JIMIN

With a guilty conscience, I stand outside the door - the same door that I was welcomed through all those years ago. The same door that I expect will be slammed in my face when it's opened. I wouldn't blame him, I deserve it. The mild, pounding ache in my head beats, much slower than my heart rate, reminding me of the lack of sleep I got last night. I couldn't sleep, not when I was picturing all the possible scenarios of how Jungkook would react when he saw me. I shake off the doubt that is pulling me back and knock on the door.

"Jimin?" Junsu smiles, pulling me into a tight hug and drags me inside. "I missed you so much," He mumbles into the hug and a sigh of relief leaves my lips, yet my conscience remains guilty. I catch a glimpse of some new faces as I pass by the living room, following Junsu to his office, eyes wandering for the person I came for. I wonder how much has changed about him: is he still smaller than me? Floppy hair and a dorky smile? These are the memories I've kept of him.

"So, how's it been going for you?" Junsu asks, dropping himself on the couch next to me.

"It was a struggle, not gonna lie," An awkward chuckle escapes my lips. "Tae and I worked hard for the past two years to get where we are now. We're working to get into drama school. We have to get a loan and work 3 or 4 jobs but I mean, it's gonna be worthwhile."

"Wow! Jimin, I'm so proud of you guys. I always knew you'd make it. You were always so determined and now look at you! Who knew the troublemaker would be here?"

"You did. You always believed in me. I don't know how to thank you," I swallow the lump in my throat, averting my eyes away from him. "I'm sorry. I didn't come back, I didn't even call..." I trail off as I notice Junsu tense up, a knowing look on his face, a sympathetic smile on his lips. "What?"

"I know why you came back. Jungkook's not here."

"Where is he?"

"He got fostered by a family after you didn't visit for a while. They kicked him out after some time but he didn't come back here... I've not seen him since. We looked for him but there was just no point. He just disappeared."

"What?" I laugh - it's a prank. It has to be a prank. I expect Jungkook to jump into the room any moment now. "This is a joke, right?"

Junsu closes his eyes momentarily, shaking his head. My breath hitches then stops completely before streams of tears run down my stoic face. He didn't come back. He just disappeared - the thought sinks in, one word at a time, slow, painful, unbearable. "It's-it's a joke, right?" I ask, my voice cracked, the room filled with nothing but the sound of my heavy breaths, like the type of silence you hear before a storm hits. Junsu carefully approaches me, like there's a 'Handle with care' label on me, and hugs me tightly. I fall into his arms and let my tears fall until a heavy, dull pain lingers on my forehead. Jungkook's gone.

- Six years later -

"You can't blame yourself, Jimin. I can understand how hard it is to stand on your feet once you're out there in the real world. Jungkook didn't blame you either, he just missed you. Promise me you won't let this take over your life."

The words fade into nothingness as I jolt myself awake, searching around the room. I run a hand through my messy hair, the words I had dreamt about repeating in my head. I release a deep breath and drag myself out of bed to start yet another day of another mundane week.

The scent of lilies and freshly brewed coffee reaches the hallway as I make my way towards the kitchen. I see Mi-ran moving her hips to the smooth jazz playing on the radio, her long, auburn ponytail swaying with her. A small smile reaches my lips as I tip-toe towards her, my steps light and sneaky. I trap her in my arms from behind and catch the spatula that she nearly drops out of fear. She turns to face me with her famous pout, her dark eyes narrowed and not very happy with me. This happens almost everyday and she's still not used to it.